Sgt. John's Zombie Brigade on purevolume™

Punk / Alternative / Experimental

Band Members
Alex "Pot head" Potter - sneering, grunting, shouting and yodelling.
Richard "Rutch" Friedrich - bass, ass and grass
Joffy Stevens - cant play a real instrument so he hits stuff.

... if you can put up with this you can put up with anything....

id like to tell you a story. so gather around, get your drink, roll your blunt and get ready...

once upon a time there was a boy called richard. now rich was a funny old fellow. his few friends called him rutch. he listened to every type of genre available(unless it was popular-rutch wasnt keen on "scenes" or group things) he liked to drink jack daniels, he smoked cuban cigars, and he loved his bass. more than he did his mum, his many girlfriends, or his cat. he didnt really fit in anywhere, always standing out, in appearence (what with his white hair and pale skin and glasses, he looked almost albino, or like the milky bar kid) and always making a fool of himself.and ALWAYS playing his bass. jazz, funk, rock, pop, disco, nursery rhymes, you name it, this lad played it. he's better than you will ever be. so just dont even try.

now rutch had a friend,beleive it or not. his friend was a local roughneck who answered to jonny, or joff as he soon became known as. or dirty arab as he only washed occasionally. notoriously foul-mouthed, jonny had found true love at an early age. no, not in a girl (unsurprisingly) or even a boy (very suprisingly) but in the Sex Pistols; or more like in punk itself. the whole spirit of the thing swept jonny along, and he soon became interested in making his own music.so he tried to play the guitar, he tried to play the bass, he tried to play the triangle. all he failed at miserably. and then jonny realised something. sat one day in a maths lesson, jonny discovered he could hit the table really hard and fast with two pens. he couldnt really get a rhythm, but hey, no ones perfect. so jonny decided he would play the drums.he played and played, his punk records and films teaching him more than anyone else. so in the end he wasnt half bad. just about a 1/4 bad.

so with these two playing bass and drums, and how close they were as friends (or perhaps more than friends, as rumour would say) it was inevitable that they would eventually end up playing together, and so they did. they locked themselves away in the drum room, and played and played. riff after riff, beat after beat, with each one it became clearer and clearer. these 2 fitted together perfetcly. rutch's crazy bass skills, dancing around the thumping drums of jonny. jonny would always be keeping some sort of order, whilst rutch ensured chaos was thick in the air.it was always a great din. and it was fooking ace. but something was missing. they sat down, and thort long and hard.what had all these other bands got that they hadnt? then, somehow they stumbled upon an answer. a singer! they needed some vocals to help spread their awful racket.

so up stepped rutch. surely he could play bass and sing at the same time? well..it seems that...well...he couldnt really sing, never mind play bass at the same time. after one disastrous attempt he gave in. so jonny bravely volunteered, to attempt to sing from behind his excuse for a drum kit. and he failed. the only thing he did manage was to hit the mic by accident with his drumstick, and losing what very little rhythm he had! so the search began.....

they stumbled upon a young wannabe-sid vicious called alex, a boy with too much time on his hands and alcohol in his liver. alex was a long time friend/groupie/stalker/drug dealer to the band, so rutch decided to let him have a blast.both rutch and jonny were nervous. they didnt know what to expect of this horror-obsessed freak. maybe he was gonna sing, maybe he was gonna scream, maybe he was goin to kill them both and hide them under the floor boards. he was wild and unpredictable. and ever so slightly in-fucking-sane. in the end, he wrote some lyrics, he pulled some funny faces, he ranted and sneered some obcenities into the microphone, whilst jonny and rutch set about making a racket they called a "song". when they finished, they realised the obvious truth. this young ruffian was just right. alex was in.

adn then, one day the stumbled upon a young boy called richard "gangeweed" grainger in a bin, playin blitzkrieg bop on his geetar. now the zombie birgade thort hmmm jam sesh anyone?? so the jammed for 40 days and 40 nights, just as the bible told. every now and then they hooked up again, for immense ram chackled covers of sex pistols and ramones classics...

so there you have it, three 15 year olds and ganga making a din like youve never heard before. you can believe the epic tale above, or the other story that the three met on a pirate ship in the carribbean. either way, the fact is their a band now, making noise,causing trouble, and wreaking havoc. your new favourite band. and as their saying goes, if you can put up with them, you can put up with anything...

over&out.

we have one fan.
she drew this.