Members: Ryan "Enriqué Eglacious" Walsh, Robert "José Guetraveraz" McClelland, Mitchell "Jew" Fera... Kinda
Ryan Walsh, Enrique Eglacious, Rye N. Welch
Lead Screaming, Backup Accordion, Lead Toe-Tapper, Song Writer, Seal Clubbing Activist, Poison Control, Band English Teacher, Illegal Immigrant
Ryan Walsh started his media career as a young child model. After his contract with Huggies Diapers was terminated because of the release of a scandalous picture (this picture was publicized by the Nirvana bastards who were jealous and tried to ruin Walshs career. This photo can be seen on the Nevermind album cover)he became interested in music. Walsh was introduced to music first by head-butting a timpani, after that he took 8 years of accordion lessons taught by none other than Elvis Presley himself. The only problem was Walsh was an illegal immigrant from Mexico, who was just singing karaoke to pay for rides to Atlanta. He had illegally immigrated from Mexico when he was three days old and had just learned how to walk and speak 12 different languages. He accomplished his immigration by searching Google Earth for hours to finally find a place where there was no border line separating Mexico from America. Ryan crossed the border at this line exactly and started a new life. When caught and arrested the American justice system did not seem to think that the fact that there was no line on Google Earth counted as an alibi. He was sentenced to 12 years in a Georgia State Penitentiary where he started his current band. They were called No More LandMines.
Robert McClelland, Jose Guetreveraz
Guitar, Lead Harmonica, Lead Bongos, Band English Teacher, Band Gynecologist, Drummer, Illegal Immigrant, Album Artist, Band Surgeon, Band Technician, Band Pilot, Band Search and Rescue, Band Undertaker, Band Funeral Pre-Planner, Band Plastic Surgeon, Band Lawyer
Robert McClelland was born in a town in Southern Mexico, at the age of 3 he began working for a taco company making up new and interesting ways to add salsa to anything. He soon got promoted to research and development and was set on a task to find a way to keep tacos from falling down, but he soon realized it was impossible and began thinking about what the USA was like. By the age of 7 he had his escape planned out. He then packed his tacos, burritos, sombrero and poncho and walked to the border. He then shot the border guards with his modified taco cannon then climbed the fence, he stopped on top to have a fiesta and all the guards joined in. He then climbed over the other side. He later got caught by a Georgian police force after he tried to sue Taco Bell because they stole the taco idea. He went to a Georgia State Penitentiary where he joined forces with Ryan Walsh to make the awesome, incredible, amazing, awe-inspiring, greatest, best, most popular band, No More LandMines.
Mitchell Fera, Jew
Guitar, Money Coveting
Not an active member of the band, but probably the only one with any musical talent
[Biography to come... never]
How We Started- One day while sitting in their luxurious jail cell, Robert McClelland was digging a tunnel with a spoon and Ryan Walsh was clinking a coffee mug against the bars of the cell. They were discussing how they could pick up all the chicks from the women s jail next door. Ryan suggested that being in a band increased hotness by 7%. But neither of them had any musical talent, except for the combined 30 years of instrumental lessons. Robert suggested that having a cause would increase hotness by another 8%. After seeing a high school class on a tour of the jail talking about land mines Ryan and Robert decided to make a band called "No More LandMines" and just pretend that they had musical talent. But to be convincing, they hired a Jewish man by the name of Mitchell Fera to perform if necessary. They are now world renowned and, after having sold many T-shirts, were able to make bail and start their careers.
Album: "Politically Correct"
Songs: "African American Velvet"; "Stick it to the Male";
"All of the Female Specimens Think I am Fly for a Middle Aged Caucasian Male";
"Interstate in the General Direction of a Negative Biblical Location";
"During One 24 Hour Period all Females will Transform into Beasts";
"African American Illusionist Woman"
Album: "This is an Album"
Songs: "This is Metal"; "This isn t Metal (A This is Metal Acoustic Cover)";
"This is Copyright Infringement (A This is Metal Parody)";
"This is Country (We re Just Kidding, We Know No One Likes Country)"
Album: "No More LandMines"
Songs: "No More Landmines"; "Saving Lives One Mine at a Time"; "SJD"
Album: No More LandMines VII.5
Songs: "Wesley s New Sweater"; "My Friend Bush";
"Super Fly (Just like a Ski Park Tech.)"; "Romeo, Romeo, Let Down Thy Hair";
"My Naked Weapon is out"; "Volcano Face"; "Prancey McPrance Prance"; "Chromeo"
Album: "Over the Fence"
Songs: "Border Hopping"; "Fiesta!"; "Pinata con Tacos y Burritos"
Songs: "We re Fresh Obsessed"; "seikooC oerO taE"; "egasseM lanimilbuS";
"deriuqeR ylbmessA tludA emoS ,srehcnuP eloH selpatS"