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ZENSPY
chriskrizia19
Manila, Philippines
Sick_Drummer
214 North Temple Condominium, United States
doomsayer
Morgan, UT
Romulito
2006 New York City plane crash, United States
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings." Ed Gardner
How Not to Start a Eulogy
How Not to Start a Eulogy
Francesco Marciuliano
I lost more than just a bet today
Is it me or does she look even hotter dead than when she was alive?
In a way I blame myself. But not to the extent the authorities do.
This is kind of ironic, considering that Shannon was always the life of the party.
We all knew this day would come. In fact, we had several months to prepare for it, ever since Ted broke the news that he bought a pet bear.
Let this be a lesson to all you kids. A gun is not a sex toy.
Better him than me may sound like a callous remark, but hear me out
I dont believe this. Shes wearing the same dress as me.
Mauras death came as a complete surprise, especially after all those expensive pilot lessons she took.
We all know theres nothing funny about suicide. But darn it if Pepito the Clown didnt try to prove us wrong.
I loved him like a brother. But I fucked him like an uncle.
At least Ben died doing what he loved mostgetting into tense standoffs with police.
I believe God has a purpose for almost everyone on earth. And for those he doesnt, he simply takes them back. Like Phil here
Man, doesnt anyone know how to perform autoerotic asphyxiation properly?"
Jen is survived by several outstanding debts. Who will be attending to those?
I dont look at this as an end but rather a beginning, both for me and whichever new Mommy our children will have.
Doesnt Steve look just like himself? After all, he always did wear too much foundation.
Why? Why do the good always die young, but a cocksucker like Morty makes it to 93?
I dont wish to speak ill of the dead. So instead I direct the following remarks to Sids wife and kids
If anyone else tries to contact Shelly through a Ouiji board, let me know if she spells something other than prick.
Fun Indoor Activities ^_^
Fun Indoor Activities Now That the Exceedingly Cold Weather Will No Doubt Keep You Housebound for the Next 50 Fucking Years
Francesco Marciuliano
* Discover for yourself the fine line between functioning alcoholic and engaging in fistfight with own stove.
* Dress all in black. Don ski mask. Crouch behind sofa. Giggle in anticipation.
* Make a sock puppet. Place sock puppet on hand. Repeatedly punch hand into wall. Determine lingering effects on sock puppets speech pattern.
* Bake several gingerbread men. Give each a mission and a Luger.
* Dial every prime phone number in White Pages.
* Fashion scaled down Vera Wang-like wedding couture for your cats using dishtowels for trains and cheesecloth for veils.
* Wonder why houseplants never wear cravats. Rectify that.
* Come up with a fascinating back-story and devious motive for each and every one of your spoons.
* Cover yourself in pillows. Play Human Pinball.
* Cover yourself in saltines. Play Cracker Man.
* Go to Google. Type in porn + power tools. Sit back and marvel at the ingenuity of your fellow man.
* Hold a Hawaiian luau by killing and burying a succulent pig in your living room.
* Write down a snappy comeback for every possible situation imaginable.
* Devise own taste test lab to discover once and for all which condiment works best on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
* Revitalize entire wardrobe for spring using only a hot glue gun and ice cream sprinkles.
* See how long you can walk around your house wearing a colander on your head, oven mitts on your hands and soup ladles strapped to your feet before becoming convinced youre your own kitchen.
* Start cap gun fight with the cops parked right outside your apartment window.
* Pit M&Ms and Skittles against each other in battle to the death. Winner takes on Reeses Pieces.
* Perfect monkey impersonation by not shaving and attaching extension cord to ass.
* Play Scrabble using Jody Fosters language from Nell.
* Pretend youre in prison. Try to escape by hiding in your own laundry basket.
* Edit messages on Valentine candy hearts with a red pen and eye for clarity.
* Start dance craze by continuously performing in front of window for all to see.
* Reopen old Hot Wheels Auto Mechanic Playset. Patiently wait for customers.
Modern day thorns
Hiii
posted Feb 22
Romulito
Pow tava vendo aqui q alem de damone vc curte red
Hot, MxPx e etc... e pow te a achei mo gatinha... tem
como vc me add pra gente se conhecer melhor??! Bjus
posted Sep 13
djwork
hi =) please visit & listen to my songz
@ www.purevolume.com/djwork see ya there roger
posted May 01