- Listener
ZAVIEN
Age: 18
Location: In front of the gates of Hell
Joined On: May 04, 2006
Occupation: Councilor
I walk through the chasm of undeniable suffering but I fear no evil. God is there but I feel him not. The only thing left is the sword in my hand. I go to face the devil alone. Never alone, but feeling nothing. Bring on the execution, bring on the last battle. My hand trembles. Trembles with anticipation. Waiting for the hammer stroke. It's me who goes to war. When the war ends can I drop my sword? Maybe, but the ramifications of such could be dire. Can I drop my sword? I'm asking you.
Get ready for an angst filled party!
Watch my unending labor
my labor of pain
i put up my walls
with no one to blame
dark in the deep
secrets to keep
tear out my heart
here we will start
Carve out the pain
bleed out the strife
I'm feeling nothing
callouses built over life
Fell in to deep
trying to breathe
water starting to seep
the reaper is coming to reap
I fell in love
the reaper is stuck
death is now
shit out of luck
The heart I tore out
I offer to her
she accepts with her own
my callouses burn
Now do I feel?
The walls coming down
i'm no longer sealed
no longer i drown
-----
I put my head on the chopping block with the executioner staring down at me. I think I'll just wing it from here and see how it goes.
To make me stronger
It seems my internal conflict is dying down slowly but surely which is probably why I've deleted the last several blog posts. I'm finally coming down to the roots of my problems and such. The love of my life has helped greatly with it more than she'll ever know because not even a master of a vernacular such as my own could ever convey what I owe her in every way. I suppose I should elaborate on all the dark thoughts that have rolled through my mind at an almost unending amobius strip. After coming down to it I've always known that death was never an option, it never crossed my mind in a serious I'm going to do it fassion and it never will. When I bring it up, when i think about how sweet it would be I'm reminded everytime about what I'd leave behind and it leads me to know that I won't leave it behind. Especially the passion I have left, it would be such a waste if I didn't use it. I've been using pain all my life to become stronger, stronger for that next day so I'd be prepared. That's why my nightmares are so real and so painful. That's why I'm plagued by my mind constantly with horrible thoughts and images and why I bring pain into myself needlessly. Letting myself delve into the pasts of others, giving me a reason to die that much more because I'm so much stronger the more you throw at me, I may be weak at points but it gives me the insentive to become that much stronger. Stronger for tomorrow. And soon, I'll be able to let it all go, drop from me like the tons of weight it's become and then, unlike so many others, I could be free from everything. For love and for me, I'll do it, because I don't fail, not when I can breathe in the victory, not when there's so much to lose, and so much more to gain...
Let's Talk Business
Kisses!!! IM SO IN LOVE WIT YOU!!!!!
posted Jan 25
Let's Talk Business
i havent got on here in forever so i figured since i
was on here would send you LOVEEE!!!!! LOVES 2 YOU!!!!
posted Jan 18
Let's Talk Business
Hey... Guess What im IN love wit you!!! HAVE A GREAT
DAY!!!! BC I LOVE YOU!!! SO DEARLYYY
posted May 29
Let's Talk Business
I Love you!!! Goss its so hard not seeing you... I mean
yay in the morning ... but still in the evening!! but i
Love you soo much!!
posted May 25
Let's Talk Business
Marsha Loves you!!!!=]
posted May 24
Let's Talk Business
Im SOOO pissed i deleted your comments on accident....
Im so MAD!!!!! But im sorry that my blogs are
depressing... I dont mean it... Its juss how i feel!!
IM SO IN LOVE WIT YOU!!!! =]
posted May 21
Let's Talk Business
You need to get our picture on here....You can get it
from myspace....You no how to add it...Im sure!!!!! =]
I Love you so much my dearly love!! Im so glad were
spending everyday for the rest of the week
together....YaY!! Kitten Loves Her favorite Box boy!!=]
I Love you..
posted May 18
Let's Talk Business
Baby...I forgot if i left a comment or not...So i juss
wanted to tell you that i love you and my day is FILLED
with mood swings... and im bout to hit two guys in my
class!!! bc there annoying... and i wat to hit them!!
im so close!!! but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! the thought of
you is keepin me back from flippin out on ppl!! I LOVE
YOU I LOVE YOU
posted May 16