purevolume™

So theres this painful memory ripping at my mind....

About a year ago, i fell in love with a girl, she was my first girlfriend, i was to shy to talk to any others. Instantly i thought I'd be with this girl forever, i guess i was wrong. We started going out in April and she decided to finally end it in November. I had never been with a girl before but my #1 rule that i told myself was "always treat her as if shes a princess". I held her when she was cold, I cuddled her and stayed up all night with her when she was upset. I even did the expected things, hold the door open for her, ask if she was ok when i sensed a lil bit of sadness. I thought if i treat this girl how she deserves to be treated nothing will go wrong. The main thing is she was one of the "popular" girls you know, a shit load of friends, a million x boyfriends, and natural beauty. I am a nerd (in a nutshell) cept i have a passion for all variates of music, thats what helped me meet her. The relationship was disturbed by a guy who constantly hit on her, and talked to me as if i was nothing. This guy has picked on me and pushed me around since i was in the 7th grade. Anyway enough about my stupid bully situations. During Halloween i noticed that her and that guy were becoming pretty friendly, and she was becoming even more friendly with his muscular Indian friend (who claims he's Italian) *rolls eyes*. She goes off with them and leaves me. I went home and thought to myself, is she doing what i think shes doing. a few days later i get a phone call she apparently thinks we've grown apart and wants too take a break (tell me how that makes sense). That night she calls me crying wanting me back, the same thing happens again the next day and the next. breaking up and calling me crying. I could not have been more psychologically torn, it was 9 months of pure devotion i never so much as thought for a second that I wouldn't give my life for this girl. She finally breaks it off after the 5th time that i took her back. She gets a new boyfriend the next day, and gets about 8 more in the next month. During that month I got a call from her I never can forget that call with no sympathy i hear "Tommy, I, I kinda cheated on you with Shawn (the guy who picked on me) and I kinda did it 3 months into our relationship and never told you" I sat there on the phone as she went into detail what they did, I had the image in my mind. That guy and her on the couch that we used to cuddle, doing things that I thought we would wait to do because i respected her. After me she started dating that Shawn guy the next day. I can't forget the way he kissed her in front of me, and grinned at me every time he hugged her. I felt like i should help her, I saw him with other girls and knew he wasn't treating them as if they were friends. I warned her i tried to help her but she didn't listen. They broke up a week later, and she had 8 boyfriends since today. Still today she cheats, she lies, she flirts, she does what i never saw in her. Every night since that day I dream of her and that guy touching, and kissing, and ah it tears me apart. All the things I did for her when she was upset, i ran to her in a blizzard when her mom was drunk and exploding at her. I drove to her in the rain when she didn't feel well. I checked on her and took care of her when she was sick. I guess I just don't see why i deserved that, but i don't know do you think I did?

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