im forever changed
Posted August 18, 2007
three days ago at warped tour, my life was changed completely. im not exactly sure when it happened, but standing there in that parking lot in the 105 degree heat smashed in between a bunch of other sweaty people, my brain chemistry altered. and when it did, it took all i had to not cry my eyes out. (okay, i did just a little, but that was during bayside before i got my sunglasses broken in the mosh pit so luckily no one saw). something i heard someone say a long time ago clicked, and everything made sense.
"we may be scattered, but we are not alone"
i dont know how to describe it, but being with all those people, dancing and singing, and suffereing together brought out the most genuine, pure comfort that i had ever felt. the outside world was such a different world than the one i knew there for a few hours at warped. the outside world isnt so pretty, and you never really know who you can and cant trust. but there, at warped, the world worked a little differently. there was no hiearchy, no rules. we were all there for eachother. if someone started falling to the ground while crowd surfing, people would immediately help out and lift them up again. it was if to say "dont worry. we're here for you" and as JT Woodruff said when he wanted more people to crowd surf, "dont be afraid, these guys are strong. they'll catch you if you fall". the same with the mosh pit: if someone got knocked over and hurt, everyone would stop and make sure that they were okay. it was just so different there. everyone was so caring and able to let loose and be themselves knowing that they werent susceptible to all the criticism and hurt and unbelonging that would come with school the next day. i made a million new friends that i know ill probably never talk to again, but we were there for eachother that day.
warped just showed me that no matter what life is like, whatever happens in the outside world, theres always that greater cause, theres always shows and music and the others. and that greater cause makes me feel a part of something bigger, something better, something more important.because there IS life outside of the outside world, and it makes me feel so good to know theres an escape. there are people who will always be there for me, despite my not knowing them. those people who you will dance with and have an out-of-your-mind sing along with when the band starts to play your favorite tune. those people who will stand back when theres an opportunity to move foward and get closer, they say, "its okay, you can have the space in front of me. youve liked this band more and for longer than i have" like i had to do at coheed. those people are my life and my tears and my story. i cant tell you many of their names, or where they live, or who their friends are, but we shared a unique experience together, and escaped the outside world with me. those people are like my family and they mean more to me than you could ever know.
its the best feeling.
i know that none of any of this probably made any sense, but you would get it if warped TRULY mattered at all to you. and i didnt like all of the bands there, but its okay. and i know that some people didnt really belong there, but thats okay too. it was the most amazing day ever and being in that sweaty parking lot all day was the greatest thing that ever happened to me and i wanna say thanks to all the bands i saw and all the people i met (and already knew) that hung out with me.(especially to evan, katie, and kaitlin who held all my stuff for me while i moshed.youre the greatest friends ever!)
