Blog
im forever changed
Posted August 18 | Leave a Comment
three days ago at warped tour, my life was changed completely. im not exactly sure when it happened, but standing there in that parking lot in the 105 degree heat smashed in between a bunch of other sweaty people, my brain chemistry altered. and when it did, it took all i had to not cry my eyes out. (okay, i did just a little, but that was during bayside before i got my sunglasses broken in the mosh pit so luckily no one saw). something i heard someone say a long time ago clicked, and everythi… read more
ode to skiing accidents involving men who wear ugly sweaters
Posted July 25 | Leave a Comment
look at me. im so weary. eatings nothing more than a habit, but sleep is a sanctuary. you dont know whether im writing to you from a mansion or a street corner. it doesnt matter, the ground is still the same everywhere. we all have earth beneath our shoes, but yeah its all the same. day after day after day after day. life is so complicated in its simplicities. its so routine and its making me sick. im sick of being alice in the (false) hopes that something may happen but nothing really does. "… read more
that great fiasco known as parent teacher conferences
Posted July 24 | Leave a Comment
im letting go of all my feelings, im telling everyone why, no mysteries at all, this letter is for you or whoever else finds it. explosion. sound explodes off the furthest corners. light particles shoot through the air.you dont wanna know why i did this, you cant prevent a fire burning me consuming m. i scream i call i reach. one time acquaintances in love forever. cared=past tense with sorrow that reaches in from deep inside wrenching my heart and forming it with the only truths i know. why i… read more
everyones heart doesnt beat the same
Posted July 4 | Leave a Comment
"the motto was just a lie/ it said home is where your heart is/ but what a shame/ 'cause everyones heart doesn't beat the same/ its beating out of tome" - green day, jesus of suburbia This morning i woke up on the floor of my aunt's neighbor's house in Dallas with no recolection of why i was there. the previous morning, i woke up at my lakehouse, and before that, my grandmas house, before that: her couch.I'm tired of sleeping on strange beds/couches/floors/dorm rooms/tents I've been living ou… read more
down the rabbit hole
Posted May 6 | Leave a Comment
Words. All I have are words. But theyre good for nothing Nothing at all. She had not the slightest idea what latitude or longitude was but she thought they were nice, grand words to say It makes me feel so empty inside I wish I hadnt cried so much! Ill drown in my own tears! Theres definitely something missing The world just melts into this grey blur Curiouser and curiouser! Im so empty that Im numb (or hypersensitive, take your pick)to everything and everyone They all have each other but al… read more
but he promised
Posted February 12 | Leave a Comment
i have a secret: i am not me. i mean , im not myself in the sense that you know me. i spend all my life trying to be the kind of person that i feel expected to be around people, and i realize that when i meet someone new, i spend more time trying to get to know them than offering myself so that i know who my role to them should be. the only person i could truly be myself around and hes gone... when did i realize that you would never love me? when we first met in a sea of almost-adults and air… read more
the clock keeps ticking
Posted February 4 | Leave a Comment
look around you. everything that makes you happy right now in this moment, wont last. blink and it will be gone. breathe and all the people you love will turn into strangers. its happened to me and it is happening to you. there is a clock about my computrer that ticks so loudly, reminding me that it is merely counting down the seconds until i die. i just wish i knew how to stop it and what i could do to keep everyone i love (or will love someday in the future) with me here in this moment forev… read more
im craving crayons again
Posted September 3 | Leave a Comment
someone asked me "why do you hang out with freshmen? dont you have any friends of your own?" i think its time to tell you why... this is dedicated to my new friends and my old friends when i was in elementary school, all i wanted was to get to middle school. i thought that once i got to middle school, life would be a picnic. i would have a steady group of friends, and i wouldnt be called "little girl" anymore when i got to middle school, all i wanted was to be in eighth grade. i thought tha… read more
