purevolume™

my names austin i am in the band celestial catacalysm it is a grindcore band i am lead singer and probly bass to my friend brandon is in it he is back up vocals and rythm guitar so we are working on making a listners page but music will be delade because my band is poor.. but we need like a cuple of guitar plays so if you can play hit me up funny ass jokes i recently bought one of those bracelets that has the words "What would Jesus do?" engraved on it. So now, any time I get into a difficult situation, I can look at my bracelet and remember to ask myself, "What would Jesus do?" The next day, I was in a movie theater and some jerk's cell phone goes off. He starts talking really loud on it and at some point I couldn't take it anymore so I yelled at him to shut up. When he turned around and told me to shove it, I jumped out of my chair and was ready to cave his head in. But then my bracelet caught my attention and I remembered, "What would Jesus do in this situation?" So I lit him on fire and threw him in hell. Forest Gump had a near-death experience that changed him forever. He went horseback riding one day and everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get any worse, his foot became caught in the stirrup. When this happened, he fell head first to the ground. His head continued to bounce harder as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness ... a thoughtful K-Mart manager came out and pulled the plug. for more funny ass jokes go to http://www.near-death.com/jokes.html

Leave a Comment	Leave a Comment	Leave a Comment
Leave a Comment	Leave a Comment	Leave a Comment

view all 6 photos