what is this?
Posted June 2, 2008
it feels like a huge chunk of you is gone, it feels like your heart is constantly in the back of your throat, its like the first thing you think of in the morning, and the last thing you think of at night. You're worried all the time, you wait eagerly for every and any chance of contact, verbal or written. You feel helpless and alone. Your hands shake. You drink too much coffee. You do everydamnthing you can think of to get your mind off of it for just a minute and it doesn’t work. It feels like your missing a limb, like you're blind in one eye. It hurts because there is nothing you can do about it. You're scared all the time. Things affect you more. You find yourself staring at a picture as if the people in it don't exist, because how could of that been then, when this is now? This pain? And the love that compels that? Its like a firebrand took place of your heart. As if you would die without that person. As if life was grey, and now its in Technicolor. Its like everything you’ve seen in movies, read in books, heard in songs, saw in paintings. You feel alive. Special. Wanted. Free. Like if that person asked you too, you would run run run. Really asked. Not just wished.
