PureVolume

n:if you choose to read, read it all!







Lets play a little game of show and tell, ill bet you think you already have me figured out, be prepared to be proven wrong. The is Vanna Jordan, Not Vanna Venom



And here is my life written in three paragraphs.







Past



I grew up ina world where imperfection was not an option family was our enemy, and image was everything. I would twist and mold myself until I reached everyone around me’s satisfaction.i was apuppet trained to arouse everyone else but however I did forget



Someone along the way, myself, as I gradually grew up more and more, I started to realize how bad I had just forgotten myself and was living someone elses dreams. I new eventully I would have to stop this, but doig so I would leave a concrete life and have to start over. I chose to take a stand, I did the only thing that I could think of at that time, I slowly started to destroy everthing that made me the girl everyone loved, pound by pound I gained, hair I chopped, self esteem I lost.



Everything else faded,there was no more perfect puppet.



That’s what I wanted……right?







I went from being the one everyone loved to the one I hated, I couldn’t grasp the feeling of being myself. A year passes I still could not seem to lead my own life. Looking in the mirrior was like facing and staring at my enemy. I relized if I ever wanted to become fully at peace, I would turn to drastic measures, if you don’t like something about yourself, I believe you gave the power to change it, unfortionitly I took it to far, I had developed an eating disorder, and it surley made its company last. I was living MY life I was living footsteps other people has set up for me. I shoved my hand down my throat, I hurt my body, and completely tore the ones around my hearts.this couldn’t keep going I had to end this once and forall!







08/14/08



I said fuck it all.







The search for perfection ended, I had grown to love the person I had become, I am at peace I guesse some of you that are reading this are asking in you head “Why is she spilling out like this?” or “What the hell is she talking about?”. Well I know somewhere or maybe even someone that is reading this is giving problems finding who they are. We tend to mask ourselves and tp become something that our society accepts.Well I for one will gladly stand up and say Fuck society. Don’t be afraid of who you really are, everone has something about them that makes them unique, it just takes the brave ones to show it off for the world, but sadly that’s what we labal as our local “freaks” well if being a freak means being myself then I guesse I can accept that. Im encouraging you to also. If your one that gets effected by labals, well sadly let me tell you this, they will never go away we will labal people so we can feel secure about ourselves. Break out of the masks, accept the labels and shine. Show everyone exactly who you are. And always remember.for every sunset there is a sunrise soon to follow









im not here to impress you, to be completley honest i dont give a monkeys ass :] i have everything that matters.

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