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UBERLLYAWESOME
one way roads
young girl in highschool
has a boyfriendwho's a fool
doesn't know what he has
and he moved on too fast
promises they'll stay cool
nothing'll change, nothing new
but then the next day at school
they don't talk and they dont move
she just crys in his arms
and walks away to never return
hundreds of students in the hall
but she still sees him through them all
what should she do? where should she go? when all of the roads she has to take are all one ways? where do you go when all you got are one ways? you can't double back, gotta go around the tracks of the city just to get back home. no short cuts this time. gotta leave it all behind and take waht comes with a smile and i'm fine.
easy is the game plan
be there for him, be a friend
bring out a "hey, what's new?"
expects a "not much bout you?"
he crys and says its too hard to talk to you
all of her friends
say they'll be there till the end
but then they turn their backs
and she has no one to laugh, cry, or say the best part of him was you
she closes her eyes and counts to ten
and everything just plays back in her head only
1 in her life that didn't make her feel like a prize just the
2 of them for
3 1/2 months till the end
4 ever was the deadline but it came to fast like the
5 straight school days where she didnt see his face the
6 days of friendship that led to the
07 senior wit the girl from
08 but that's all gone now like the last phonecalls after
9 where he bid her goodnite like the
10 days later when his heart belonged to someone else
what should she do? where should she go? when all of the roads she has to take are all one ways? where do you go when all you got are one ways? you can't double back, gotta go around the tracks of the city just to get back home. no short cuts this time. gotta leave it all behind and take waht comes with a smile and i'm fine.
young girl in highschool
had a boyfriend who was a fool
didnt know what he had
and he moved on too fast
promised that they'd stay cool
nothing would change nothing new
but then the next year at school she didnt see him because he moved.
3 1/2 months
31/2 months. that's how long it lasted. MK+MA. i was so happy, but i will admit, i knew it was coming. i could tell by the way he acted, the way he didnt hold my hand anymore, the way we stopped hanging out. i could tell.so here i am valentines day 2007 boyfriendless, crying, and on my period.
the cramps killed in english class today but now i would give anything to have them and not this other pain i have. he is happy with out me. he is acutally happy for the first time in a long time. the worst thing is i wasnt there when he needed me. i was mad at him, ignoring his calls, being the worst girlfriend in the world. i dont blame him i actually applaud him for keeping up with me for this long.
i knew he was going to break up with me yesterday not only by instinct, my cousin told me. i found out my boyfriend was going to break up with me by a text, before dinner. i cried, then my mom called me down to dinner. i wiped my tears and walked down the stairs. as i walked down each step i remembered the times we spent. laughing, crying, whatever we did, we did it together. I was so happy. he always knew hot to make me laugh, he always knew when i was sad or angry and laywas called. Anyway i was at dinner and i just at, i didnt want to be there i just wanted to see him. all i could think about was how i promised him i woudl never let him "crash". i kept my promise. my mom and dad just kept talking about my weight. They think I'm feeling bad right now because they think i'm anorexic. Any way I get to leave and i cry in on the bathroom floor. When i sat there crying into the palms of my hands all i could think of was how i was in this same situation when i dated A. and just how i made it. I went to my room and called my friend Tim, i told him we couldnt hang out and i wasn't up for it. i hung up the phone and cried again.
i looked into the mirror and just yelled at it acting as if it was him, MK. i told him all the promises he was breaking and reminding him of everything that happened and christmas and the dance, and how he looked me in the eyes and how i asked him if he was happy and he looked me in the eyes and said "yes". how he held me in his arms and said "i love you" knowing days later he would break my heart and let me go. just like the cake song. tim called back and we talked. i cried and complained and all he kept saying was how many friends i had and i would be ok. i went onlin and checked MK's status. he was still in a relationship with me. online i just kept telling everyone and anyone who would listen abou thow much i loved him. he came online and i had to play the dumb role. i acted as if everything was ok and asked him what was wrong and he said it was him and i told him he would be ok because i would make sure he would be. he signed off adn i called him. he said "hello" and was crying.
in that moment all my anger and saddness went away with each tear that fell down his "chunky cheeks". i told him not to cry and i was sorry for being the worst girlfriend and how he was the best boyfriend ever. and he cried harder telling me to stop. i didnt realize it at the time but i was just hurting him more. my actions that were meant as an attempt to keep him, were only prolonging the knife from stabbing me in teh heart. after more crying and my useless attempts to keep him and his tears from falling he said it " i cant do this anymore" immediately my mind raced back to november; we were talking on the phone and i told him back then that if for any reason he felt he couldn't handle the stress from sneaking around my parents all he had to do was say the word and i would let it go. i blinked because it just hit me what he had just said and i came back to reality. i told him it was ok. and i took the blame for it, but he wouldnt let me. maybe thats what i wanted, mabye i wanted to take the blame so i could keep something from the relationship. so i could still have apart of us, even if it was the blame. but he wouldnt let me. he even wanted me to say "its not my fault" but i couldnt. i wouldnt. he had to brush his teeth and his parents yelled at him and he said sorry and hung up. i called him back and was in the middle of a voicemail when he called. i picked up and he told me he got in trouble. i said sorry and he said he didnt care about it. then i began saying how sorry i was for everything and for the first time in the whole conversation i cried. i felt bad for vrying because i wanted to be the strong one, the one he could depend on. the strong one who would be ok and care for him because thats how i always felt. i have always wanted him to be happy.
we talked about scooby doo valentines and he asked which one i wanted and i told him whichever one was his favorite and he said his favorite was the one i wanted. we laughed because he said it in his "angry" voice. as we laughed i thought we would be ok. that we could still be friends. during our whole converstation we just kept telling eachother how wonderful the other was and how the other would end up happy with someone far greater than us. we both denied it and said the other was far more special and amazing. then he said we would still have our taco stand, and i promised we woudl still go to indiana together.
i still love him so much and i want him to be happy because GOD i love seeing that boy smile.
This morning was hard. i left early and found myself in my english teacher's room. i askes him if i could hide out and he said yeah an dasked from whom. i told him everyone. he then told me student council would be coming to send the valentine day carnations. i then asked him if he ever cried. he said no, not a lot. i told him MK cried when he broke up with me and how my best friend forever MM said it was wierd but how i was use to MK crying. he told me society does not allow for men to cry. bu tin situations like breaking up society and its thoughts are thrown out the window. he then told me about a girl he dated and how they broke up (jr year) and how he cried. i just listened to the music he played because the songs seemed like break up songs and he said "in the end, in like 15, no 10 years you would reather want a sensitive guy than a jerk" i left right before he did and he said bye. i said bye. as i walked out of the classroom i saw MK.
he was at the bubbler with SR and i looked at him and he looked at me and i walked down the stairs. i made it to the fifth stair when i turned around, walked to him and kicked him in the butt. i told him to walk with me and i was going to give him his valentine card. his eyes were puff and pink as if he was crying minutes before. i hugged him and pulled out the valentine. it had a picture of a park that we went to one day when we skipped school, and a poem we made together that day. he said "cool" and i could tell he honestly liked it. i hugged him again one last time, and i began to cry. i said it was "sorry" and he said "dont start this again" i couldnt look him in the eyes so i just walked away.
i walked away and for the first time he didnt bother to come and get me.
