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SCREAMOEMO
Age: 18
Location: wisconsin
Joined On: Dec 06, 2007
He took your heart that way ->
Stuck in my house... :\
Eolande
Planet X
alisonWONDEDRLAND
the twip....michigan bitches
add me = talk to me, so there u go. read my songs even if u don't add me.
if anyone ever needs to talk bout stuff, relationships, God, or anthing thats is going on in your life that u just need to tell someone, i will listen, and i try my best to help you any way i can.
my msn, the59thcomandment@yahoo.com. talk to me ppl.
my fantasy lie
this is a world of death, blood and broken hearts. the trees do not dance, the light is gone, she killed it. when her love left the life left with it. and there i lay, dead where she left me, she kissed me and reached out, stabbed me and threw my heart on the ground. when it struck the pavment it shatterd and now the peices lost among the trees, blood pores from my chest, i think of what a fantasy it was, in a world that is not real, a lie, my mind is on fire, i am burning up, wasting away, death roams in every corner, darkness ia reality, nothing lives, bones of broken bodys lay everywhere, the streams and rivers flow with blood, the springs fill the ponds with blood, the air is depression, its everywhere,it blocks out the light, back stabbing is a game they play, no one is real, what is love??? there is none, it dosnt exist in this fantasy world of lies, it was killed long ago, demons rule this fantast world now, i gave her all my love, all of it, she couldnt handle it, she dropped it and now its gone, she took it played with it for a bit then she threw it away, she was my fairy in this fantasy world, but the demons stole her from me, how did such evil enter this beutiful fantasy??? the infestation is a horor story, it rains blood all night long, there is no day, the sun is dead, a black hole where the demons enter through, the wind is black wings of death, shooting hearts with poison arrows, killing beutiful love that two ppl share, death is reality, life and love are fantasy, lies and deceit blow in the wind, nothing is true, love is somthing of the pastm my heart is dead its way past beating, when will the war end??? fairys battle demons nonstop, will it ever end??? or will i be the end??? im so confused, this has to end, im numb, i cant feel the pain any more, so if i end it i wont even know im gone, i will be nothing in space, like the air that is dead, still there but not realy, i need to choose, what is the choice???
the story
ok, so, we met at a dance, i was with her the whole time, then at the end she gave me her number and we started talking, then one night she said that she loved me, i didn't say anything cuz i wasn't ready for that. she told me she loved me every night after that, the one night i realy felt i was ready and that i realy did love her and i told her. we talked ever night, then we started haning out. we basicaly did everything couples do, the only broblem is taht she is 15 and i am 18. she once asked me if i would wait for her, till she was 18, i said that i would, and one time she said that she hopes she never loses me, that i never leave her. then one night when we were talking she asked if we were aloud to date other ppl, i told her that it would break me if she did and that i never even think about dating other ppl. and a few nights later she asked if we could just be friends till she is 18, it sounds like she wants to be jsut firends till then so that she can date other ppl. she says she never wants to lose me and now she is pushing me away, my first 3 blogs on here is a poem and a letter that i wrote to her, i havn't read them to her yet. i just needed to get my feelings out where i can see them.
I LOVE YOU, WHAT WILL YOU DO? WILL YOU WAIT TO?
girl i am trying to figure this out, whats up with all this doubt? rushin through my mind, tryin to find a good way to put this all behind. my love is true, is yours there to? jsut don't know what to do, my heart has been broken before, i'll close it up this time for sure, put chya behind, in my mind. you say you hope i never leave you, you should know this duh, that i am here for good, is that understood? now its up to you, do you want me to? i love youand i'm scarred i might lose you. it;s happend before, i feel like i am setting myself up for some more. this tiem it'll be worse, i didn't realy love those other girls, i love you, this time it's true, are you gunna break my heart to? it's up to you. i didn't fall for you, you tripped me, don't get me wrong, i am not blaming you, if you hadn't pesterd me, kept at me, i wouldn't have come to knoe you, to love you. so what ya gunna do? ya gunna leave me laying in my own blood? shatter me again? you once asked if i would wait for you, of course i will, but how bout you? will you wait to? thats what i am scarred of, this is getting long but its but its for real, what do you feel? can we make a deal? it's up to you, leave me now and save me more pain, or wait with me and see what we can gain. i'll say this one more time then i'll shut up. IT'S UP TO YOU, I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, CAN'T MAKE YOU WAIT.
BREAKIN ME APART
i don't know what to say. this pain inside is horible. you cut me deep girl. you once asked me if i would wait till you were 18, girl, i would wait, i love you. love waits. but that meens you have to wait also. do you realy love me? i don't know anymore. you seem to want a boyfried, you say there is no one right now that you want to go out with but you still want to be friends with me, it seems to me that you just want to just want to be friends so that when a guy does come along you can go out with him. that isn't love. you say we were friends with benifits, that wasn't benifits, that was my love given to you. so how many guys will there be till you are 18? how many guys will you go out with till then? girl, you said once that you didn't want to lose me but now you are bushing me away. i can't get this close to a girl and then just go back to just being friends, i gave up a lot to be with you every weekend, more than i gave to hang with my best friends. i just can't get over how you could ask me to wait for you and then not wait yourself, say you don't want to lose me then push me away. i don't get it. thats not love, do you realy love me or am i just another guy to go out with. it you don't wait and you go out with other guys till your 18 i don't think i could go out with you knowing you didn't love me enough to wait with me. even it we did date when you turn 18 but you dated other guys till then it would break me apart seeing you with them, knowing you couldn't wait. i love you so much. some of my favorite tiem s with you were just holding you in my arms and thinking you loved me and loving you back. but how can it be love when you can't even wait? thats not realy love, and since i love you so much i will have to let you go if thats what you want, cuz all i want is for you to have what you want. so go if thats what you want. it's not like it hasn't happend before, i delt with it before i can deal with it again.
i wish
i wish i had a girl that loved me the same way i love her. i'm not like a lot of guys, i don't tell a girl i love her unless i realy do, i have only told one girl that i love her, and i realy love her. i can't explain what it is. my love is a bloody mess right now, its so confused. if my heart is broken again i think it will go into hinding, stay away from falling in love again. it will scar over and it will take a lot for another girl to get into it. "i've got this ice box where my heart used to be"
In love we're one. …
I've seen a lot of comments about your hair. I like it
short. It looks nice. And Converse is so *over rated*.
haha. you know at converse.com you can make your own
pair, and they have knee highs! my friend has a pair.
And they are cheeta print.
posted 20 hours ago
ranndi
hey, what's up?
posted Yesterday
_xUnderOathx_
I came in as ScArS rEmAiN and more recently DEAD|POETIC
:D
posted Yesterday
_xUnderOathx_
New Hampshire. I kinda know u form DISCIPLE chat room
posted Yesterday
In love we're one. …
Between you and Menden it feels like I fell off the
face of the earth. = I've been here the whole time.
Honestly. I think I'll invest in a tracking collar just
in case you guys lose me again.
posted Yesterday
_xUnderOathx_
Im from NH
posted 3 days ago
_xUnderOathx_
wats up
posted 3 days ago
Z E R 0 I N E™
Haha. I was going to go to Cornerstone; but I didn't
have enough money for that && Warp Tour. Really sad
about that one to! Well you know it's always better to
meet new people then hang out with the ones you already
know.
posted 4 days ago