PureVolume

so depressed for nothing.

last night i again tried and failed .. 15 advil n 9 tylenol .. they are supposed to thin your blood out so it cant reach all parts of your body n its supposed to explode your stomach .. but of course im stil here.. so it didnt work! ):

i hate myself im such a bad person. i cheated on my bf 4 times.. n wen i tld him he flipped out called me a whore n trash than called bck sayin he was sorry he didnt mean it. but i think he did.. i gotta take a test to make sure im okay . n not you kno .... fuckmylife. i kno alota ppl hav it wayyy worse than i do.. but i jus hate that i cnt ever b happy.. i woke up this mornin throwin up thinkin FUCK IS THIS MORNIN SICKNES?!? but its been goin on all day.. so i guess not guess its jus my body tryna get rid of the bad shit i did ... he said i was his world. that i ment everything to him. n i promised him id nvr hurt him n id nvr cheat lyk all the othergirls did.. but im jus lyk those other whores. i hurt him so badly. n im scared. scared that since hes back on pills hes gunan kill himsefl but i cant lose him in both ways my stomach is killin me more than anyone cld ever comprehend.. i think i need to go to the hospital. but i cnt tell my dad, bc he'll send me bck to brook glen behavioral n im not sure i wanna go bck. i dnt want to b on meds. i hated it the first time. fuckmyllife.

i called a suicide helpline they tld em to call my therapist to tlk to her but i dnt trust her so is counter active. kill me i cant stop throwin up my bodys in soo much pain. i jus want to b happy but its lyk i refuse to let myself b happy. bc i feel as tho i dnt deserve it

someone save me from myself.

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