purevolume™

Hamlet

To be, or not to be;
That is the question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
To suffer the slings and arrows
Of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms
Against a sea of troubles;
And, by opposing, end them!
To die, to sleep, and by a sleep
To say we end the heartache
And the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to
'Tis a consummation; devoutly to be wished
To die, to sleep
To sleep, perchance to dream!
Aye, there's the rub
For in that sleep of death,
What dreams may come


[Yeah, so this didn't serve any purpose whatsoever other than to fill up a blog space. I just wanted something there because purevolume was calling my life "uneventful" since I didn't have a blog yet, and being insulted by websites doesn't sit well with me.

For those of you wondering (like anyone's going to read this), no, I didn't copy and paste that soliloquy. I memorized it a while back, and knowing that has only benefited me once before when I rattled those lines off to a girl and she thought it was romantic and chivalrous (I didn't dare curb her awe of my genius by mentioning that the "romantic" soliloquy I had just finished consisted of Hamlet debating whether or not to commit suicide because his mother had essentially committed incest with his uncle, who had killed his father not but a month or so beforehand).

So, it comes in handy a second time, but, this time, only because I needed something to take up space. I suppose hitting the enter key a few times would have done the trick just as well, but Shakespeare just makes everything better.

Let's recap: purevolume insulted me a mere half-hour after we meet, so I unleash a fierce soliloquy on it. Maybe that'll make some of whoever accidentally reads this think twice before they call me lame. Actually, it would just serve to prove that I'm not sane.

Purevolume calls my life uneventful? Hah, I would respond to his/her/its face, but I'll be too busy snowboarding blind-folded down Mount Everest trying to escape the Nazis chasing me. On dinosaurs. Oh, yeah, then I'll be off to the White House to play another round of "eenie-meenie-mynie-WAR!" with President Bush. Man, I told him the last time we played, about three years ago, that if I picked Iraq for him to go to war with, there's NO WAY he could stir up a bee's nest of insurgents and religious extremists and win a war that we go into for no reason. He pissed the Iraqis off really well, which is further than I thought he'd get, but he's too stubborn to admit that he lost the bet we had on the game. I mean, it's just $20, so I'd have dropped it by now, but you know ole' George; he's just really competitive.

I get my country next game. I know he'll stick me with a hard country to make out to be an enemy, like Greenland or New Zealand or something like that. I'm hoping for Kazakhstan, because I could just pin something on Borat and use that as an excuse to go after just the anti-Semite himself, since his check from the movie is at least 60% of Kazakhstan's gross domestic product. Therefore, taking out Borat would take out 60% of their economy. That should be good enough for another $20 from George.

Wait, did you just say that Borat is a fictional character? Well, I'll just have to try a different country.

Just for the record, I'm the only player to be successful at "eenie-meenie-mynie-WAR!". I beat Reagan when he stuck me with Grenada. Boy, you should've seen the look on his face when it only took me two days.

Leave a Comment