i feel numb again...

Posted August 5, 2008

its like im here...i know im here...but..i dont know what to do or say or be...im surrounded by people..some of who perhaps want to hang around with me..and i feel alone. i feel...already abandoned before they have begun to speak, and i just..give up. give up before it even starts. i think its the whole concept of dissapointment. i know i will. so i freeze up. i am a mute..a mute a mute.

i dont know how to exist..

i want to exist...i just cant seem to find the buttons to make me move...the voice to make me talk...the...motivation to make my heart beat.

i need a hug...