PureVolume

tuesday

so... a's are over. what now, huh?

as a last act of defiance, albeit unintentional, i got thrown out of the cafe. haha! all because i had opened a simple can of red bull. that was a clear over reaction. the worse thing was that during the paper i had extreme l'esprit de l'escalier. aww it made me so angry. 

after the chem paper, i was all YAYYYYYY. then we piled into their cars, like a bunch of kids getting picked up by our mamas, and then we went to haunt orchard for a while. it was nice, seeing more than half the class coming together for some trash-talking. meow meow! 

and when you noticed i had new glasses, that totally made my day. 

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monday

oh sheesh y'all, twas a dream.

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sunday

imminent.

eighteen. i'm a little old. i started the day with soy bean milk and a visit to a kindergarten playgroup. damn. my birthday was remarkable, probably one of the best i've had so far. so blessed. i could wax lyrical (more on that later) for pages, and yet. not describe fully the reality and the joy experienced. language is like that. received four cards, from four special groups of people, each card the embodiment of the times shared. their scribbles, doodles, well wishes; all have the same underlying idea.

anyhow, i have many things that i want to do after a's. i'm looking forward to the end, fifteen days from now. it's the start, of something new. and the rap lyrics, they keep coming.

i also need to cut my hair.

these days i spend with you - i'll keep them safe, guard them with my heart, and never let them go, because these memories are just memories - they can never be relived.

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saturday

so... the new shampoo smells like honey dew milk from vitasoy. yummy!

moths killing little girls. sounds fun. wings slash/ they lacerate, mutilate/ screams emanate/ she runs/ but she does not hide/ she faces the end/ flutter, flutter/ blood, drawn/ skin and flesh separated/ ashen, grey/ her misery ended.

i've been thinking up little raps through the week. if this alevel thing doesn't pan out, imma gonna be famous/rich some other way. haha!

karaoke session in the candeck during dinner. i quite like this.

last cf for this year was yesterday. awwwww sniff sniff poo. it's been fun. the ngtimes, the food, fellowship shared, the late nights. treasured, always. good closure to the week, i feel. anyhow, nothing really eventful took place, testimonies and thanksgiving. no food, they went to vivo, i stayed behind to schtudy (school+study) and voila, ten hours lapsed since i last ate a decent meal. the strepsil was pretty good though. haha alcohol! slurp!

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monday

So... Thursday was the last day of school for this batch of old timers. The air was not charged with emotions; the atmosphere was not tinged with even a faint trace of bittersweet reluctance. They sang a few songs that were from Disney, that corporation of paid feelings and dramatic soundtracks that swell with... stuff.

He turned around, choking over his words, as he mumbled a few utterances about being sentimental, false bravado falling. I observed, his eyes were rimmed red, hand discreetly moving to wipe away his embarrassment. No, don't let the tears fall, let them not know this world that is full of cynicism, like I have. Let them well up, but not break free, streaking that face, marking you as one that can manifest society's emotions for me. I can't do anything for you, but fake a smile, laugh at your innocence, for I was never like you. It is only in your vulnerability that I appreciate the child underneath that armor of... stuff. Please, carry on.

Stayed behind to do work, then attended a funeral with some of the CF people. One of the most light-hearted services I've been too. There were no tears, only the happy reminiscing of a legacy left behind by a good man. Nostalgia filled the air, but not at the expense of regret. This is what life should culminate to- a good ending, or start, to the liberation of a person through their death.

Went back to school on Friday. It was as if we never left. Had a fascinating conversation with some guy; it intrigues me how we can talk for ages about the most normal of subjects, and yet still find the other too offbeat and standoffish for our liking. First it was North Korea, then it was The Office and economics. We are strange but happy people, I guess.

Had the strangest text conversation about space and its continuums, as well as various dimensions. I lied. There is no eleventh dimension. Still. Don't be all hating. I didn't kill you.

Don't have this gift to turn words into cash/ lack the ability to make a splash/ but the only thing I've got going for me/ is this thing that draws you to me/ I really want to know you/ wanna minigolf with my crew?/ look what you've done/ picking at my seams and scars/ you loosen them one by one/ just look where we are

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