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STATIONARY._.MARSHMELLOWS
Age: 19
Location: usually in my appt in WI
Joined On: Jan 01, 2006
Occupation: well..i do enjoy being...naked
Website: emergencygoodbye@hotmail.com
Ello ppl, i'm Indie (that's my name), and if you wana know shit, ask me or look at the rest of this rant that i have no idea what i said in it anymore. Enjoy ( :
I do a bunch of drugs/smoke/drink so if you have a prob w/that, either don't talk to me about it or fuck off cuz if you can't look past the bad (interesting to me) shit in people then obviously you're not worth time in any circumstance. i love arguing though so hook me up! lol, politics and religion are the funnest to argue about because ppl get really into that shit, but i hardly take anythng seriously so if you get pissed while doin this, sorry that i'm laughing on the other end *smiles* o, and i'm hardly on here anymore...i just see no point, i hardly even find any good bands anymore so i'll answer whoever whenever
*long whine fallowed by some random thought to cheer myself up*
dude...i NEED AMES!!!!! Ames being a town in Iowa that also holds the school that i want to go to and the nicest people ever with the most beautiful campus i have ever seen. it also happens to harbor the guy that i'm INTENSELY interested in. the only way that we'll actually have anything is if i get into ISU (iowa state university). this wouldn't be a problem for me otherwise, but the pattern of me being accepted into schools that i just applied for for the hell of it and not being accepted into the ones i actually wanted to go to. the ones i didn't weren't horrible or anything, they're actually top schools, but...i have no want to go there nor have i ever or will ever. since i Really want Ames, i don't want it to turn into one of the schools that i wanted but didn't happen. i do realize that if i was meant to go to one of the other schools, i would have gotten in and my rejection towards the ones that i did get into were just a sign that i never settle. 'if you are truly meant to have something, all the universe conspires to help you get it.' a quote from The Alchemist, one of the greatest books ever, read it. so yeah, i know that if i get into Ames, me and gav were meant to have a chance even though i'm thinking that nothing major will come of it, i just think we have things that we can learn off each other. Major things. we're both different and yet we work, just the funnest conversations ever and i really think he has a lot of shit to show me, and possibly me to him. just the fact that we start talking like each other after just 5 min of conversation shows me that one. yeah, i know, ...actually, cancel that, i just rant on here to myself anyway since i Really hope no one reads this shit(bacon..david...stop reading lol) so yeah, i don't need to explain that part if i already know and don't really care since no one should be reading this and i don't have to explain myself to you *smiles*.....god i hope i get Ames :( i have a lot of doubts on it, but really only because of the pressure of getting in to this one is so high. 'under pressure...pressure pushing down on me, pushing down on you...' great song by Queen, check it. name of the song is self-explanatory.
friends w/benefits
what do you do when one of your best friends wants to be friends w/benefits and you don't. apparently if you're like me, you invite them over to your house at midnight after they've had a 'bad day.' i'm a complete dumb ass. i could see in his eyes when he asked to come over what he wanted, but i really just wana go for a walk w/him and smoke my brains out. i haven't in days and i'm starting to get desperate(smoke).
on a side note, i have found out that 2 of my ex's are not dead, another one wants me back, but i can't do that even though i still like him because i'm hooked on someone else. i like both of them equally, but they're both fuck tards in their own ways so when one sucks in one scenario, the other one shines through. impossible to chose, impossible to have either anyway so the stress there is unnecessary and i'm thinking about telling them both to fuck off. one's pretty much ignoring me now though anyway, but then the other one is full force always there, always wanting to talk to me, so fricken obsessed it's unreal, but he's in england. the other one's defiantly closer, but since he's being a fuck tard anyway, there's no point.
all that i fuckin want is Eva back in america cuz she's my awesomely fake-sister, to be in florida for my job that starts next week and all the stress of starting that shit up is gone, to have either a cell or lab top for my graduation present, and be either so drunk and/or high that nothing matters. i also want ppl to stop hatin indie...what'd indie ever do to you : (
david, if you're reading this, come on msn you bitch.
Mexico/Love/Florida
ok, i'll go in order from my title list so....mexico.....
i'm goin to mexico :) at 1st i really didnt' want to go, acually, for months, now i'm goin w/a church i don't belong to(acually, it's in a totally different state that i hate cuz there's no trees) w/ppl i have never seen to a place i don't even wana go to cuz it's too warm, but i have a new awesome hiking backpack i'm packing everything in so it's all good :) and i acually have most of my packing done, but i leave friday(9th-15th) so i can't be totally done cuz i'm still using everything i need to pack. but yeah, i'm gona be there for a week helping this church build some houses for needy families(2 i think...idk, i thought it was one, but they keep emailing me saying both houses so lets go w/that and hope that they mean 'both' and not 7 for something). i've never been on a plane b4 so this will be fun :) i'm driving to ames, meeting them at their church at 4(it's like an 8 hour drive) then we're leaving from there to kansas city where i'll switch planes like 4 times and eventually end up in el paso texas where we're taking a bus across the boarder. then when i get home, i can get my passport and it'll be all good *smiles*
love....
so ppl have been declaring there love for me a lot this year. it's the worst year of my life, yet ppl keep doing this to me just to make it worst, i just know it. i hate turning ppl down. but then again...there's jay *smiles* this kid turns me on beyond all reason and he Always puts me in a better mood...god he's great :D
florida....
so no news from disney yet...wait, i haven't wrote on here for so long, i didn't even mention it b4 - i applied at disney for a career start program thing which is for recent graduates(i graduated in january) and you just go there and they pay you, pay for your housing, and a whole bunch of free stuff(though the rent is taken out of your pay check, but you have like $200 or $300 left over so it's not that bad) but i'm REFUSING to be one of those damned costumed ppl like tiger or something. but the getting my info into them has turned out to be a nightmare, but hopefully they got everything in now and they'll probibly call when i'm gone so hopefully they'll just tell my mom or something that i got in instead of waiting for me to get back. the interview went really well though so my outlook for it is pretty good. i'll be there for 7 months in a state i never wanted to go to either, but it was better than california(i don't want it to break off into the ocean while i'm there). ok, i'm so done here, i wrote too much.
why i do what i do on here. READ
ok, my msn is emergencygoodbye@hotmail.com anyone can add it, i acually prefer that ppl i haven't talked to add it cuz i LOVE talking to new and interesting ppl *smiles* i'm also addicted to analyzing so supply me w/my daily dosage and hook me up w/someone clever. smartassiness is a plus. god, i feel like i'm taking out a personal add. well, i have a boyfriend so that would just be fuckin retarded lol.
i have found that i have a phobia towards bigger ppl. i feel so bad for it too. it's like if i'm friends w/them, then i'm gona eat a lot more and never see that i'm getting bigger or something...it's pathetic, yes, i know that and i hate that i feel that way cuz i know some very nice bigger ppl, but i can't hang around them for too long. but then if i hang out w/those model skinny girls, then i feel fat. eh, what am i complaining about that for, i hang out w/all guys pretty much. occationally their girlfriends, but for some reason, i really only get along w/sluts cuz i know what ever i say or what i've done, they won't judge on it and they're a lot nicer than reg girls. o well, i'll stick to my boys and ave. she's really the only girl i can completely get along with.
ok, i take a lot of 'revealing' pics. if you have a prob w/that, then obviously you shouldn't be my 'friend' anyway. i don't take them to be whorey, i just like taking them to be artsy. most of them you'll never see unless i deam you relivant enough to accept your critisism on it. like i have fully naked ones and all that and i have no problem with it. you won't see them on here, ofcoarse, but it's just for art. not porn or to turn anyone on.
o, and i don't just add ppl to have them as my 'friend' person. when i get bored, it just amuses me lol. then when i don't feel like acually adding ppl anymore and i'm still kinda out of things to do, i just go down the list and comment to random ppl who look interesting, so if i acually comment to you, feel special *smiles*. though i pretty much only add ppl who Do look interesting...ok, just feel special if i add you lol.
ok, i'll stop boring you now cuz i'm acually boring myself. hey, talk to me sometime when i'm acually interesting and we'll have fun *smiles* -kel (kelly, but prefer kel)
aaron. unlikely gift of barefooted intelligence.
i watched someone die. was it just anyone? no...i wish it was. i wouldn't feel like i do right now if it was. i probibly wouldn't have that much emotion towards it then. i wouldn't have known them. how could i have emotion towards their loss of life then? this someone was my cousin. he was 13. it's odd to think that 2 nights ago he was alive and dead. 9:56...i was probibly in the lil waiting room they put me in where the really severe patients familes get stuck in. silently crying as to not upset his brother and dad. at 11:35 it will mark the aniversery of his death of 2 days ago.
aaron.
4 wheeling accident.
i don't think i'll ever get over this. i cried 18 hours strait sence i found out he was hurt. he was one of the best cousins out of 60. a favorite amoungst the liler ones for he loved playing with them. when they didn't want to be by him, he would bribe them until they couldn't get enough of him. that's how he liked it. he was kind like that. teaching them every lil good thing that's in their tiny lil hearts. and they can't even understand how terrible it is.
when they found him, he didn't have a pulse out in the field of open range and open imaginationary visions. they didn't get him to start breathing until 5 min after he was in the hospital. he hadn't breathed for an hour b4 that. surgery. blood was seeping into his stomache and the main artery to the liver was totally torn away making the liver demolished. kidney removed. came out alive, but blood pressure declining every second so cat scan was impossible. up to pediatrics intensive care...1st time i get to see him...
yellow/grey skin, blood pressure at 30, huge black eye...his older brother holding his hand long after he dies...just staring at him.. mary...wayne....(his mom and dad)....but seeing travis do that could just break your heart....
i haven't slept sence. hardly eatten. i only eat when i'm crumpled because of the pain. cry speratically. i always thought i couldn't cry. guess i have a soul. aaron...god, i can't stop crying now. b4 it was just immence shakage. i wana curl up by the couch and just rock but i don't wana go back to norwood. that's my hell. Aaron......
Jacob&&Christina.
that bsounds way fucking better than my job. where i
dont get to have no piercings. so fuck me then right?
posted Jun 20
Jacob&&Christina.
now that, is what i call a late reply, bravo i say,
bravo. yeah youre right i just like the more intricate
explination of the philosphy in the book, sounds like
something you can live your life by. did you get the
monroe?
posted Jun 14
V to the ILL
how have you been?
posted Mar 18
kanela_cimnim
awesome! i wanna pierce my lip. parents are a bitch
about it. blah..so how've ya been babe?
posted Mar 07
Jacob&&Christina.
yeah, now my owns is gone. i hope you get the monroe,
because thats just fucking awesome. unfortuantely in my
line of work there is absolutely no piercings allowed.
so, boohoo for me. errr Mr. P, as i like to call him
wrote a book called choke, and another called diary,
and another that i cant remeber the name of about an
ommish guy who becomes famous and then infamous and
then falls in love. errr,.i just reacently bought
fight clb the book, and the shitty thing is, i cant
read it because its in someones house is gone for like
another week. so yeah. $14.99 well spent right there.
posted Feb 29
Jacob&&Christina.
by the by, my background phone text thingy says;
'AHH!@FUCKftH-' just thought i should tell a
complete stranger that.
posted Feb 23
Jacob&&Christina.
i misspelled you're. how terrible of me. you know what
sucks? they took that little quote thing down from
underneath your name. now, no more fight club
quote. i agree by the way, fight club is the shit.
chuck paluahuak (i dont think thats how you spell his
name) is the shit, as well. he writes funny books about
unfunny things. uhh. yeah. HI! CHEERS LUV!
posted Feb 23
kanela_cimnim
haha. i see. so how are you today babe?
posted Feb 21