>>>Chapter 2. Destruction. Love. Reconstruction. A getaway.<<<
Posted February 1, 2007
"Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know."
Transition I guess is the best way to explain it. A good one, I do blieve.
After a year of seperation, my parents will officially be divorced this upcoming week. Also with the week comes the final sale of the only house I ever remember living in. A beautiful castle of a 2-story farm house complete with a barn, a trampoline, a pool, 3 cotton fiels, a few dirt roads, a garden, 3 cats, and memories... a move to a small apartment on the second floor of a business in down town. i'm not complaining.. just a little sad. I'll be sharing a room with my best friend which will be interesting and pretty cool i think, maybe aggravating sometimes, but mom and i ... we can get through anything. We have a six month lease and none of us know where we're going from there. Perhaps tallahassee so that i can graduate in florida... perhaps we'll stay for another year... perhaps california... perhaps hawaii ... And with the end of a school year from hell comes the summer of a lifetime. I'm pretty positive I'll be training with either Ballet Austin, State Street Ballet, or Long Beach Ballet for summer this year. It's going to be hard not to go back to atlanta ballet... it stole my heart. And soon I'll be graduating... what am i going to do, you ask? well.. i don't know.. none of us do... chasing my dreams is what I tell everyone. which includes comtinuing to dance, playing music, and making the best of whatever life brings, living like there's no tomorrow... having a blast. maybe going to college... maybe not. A music business degree sounds lovely if I do go to school.
But before all of this thinking and planning and wondering and dreaming... my Grandma will be leaving us. She is awful sick... expected to be here only for about another week or so.... cancer. What a beautiful person and beautiful soul. I've learned so much from her, and this past week I wrote her a song in a grave attempt to give back to her some advice i'm sure she has once given me and to tell her how much I love her. The room cried and that's what I wanted... I wanted them (and her) to understand how much I care about her and how thankful I am to have a chance to say goodbye. She looks great and she still talks... which is all any of us could ever ask for.
And all of a sudden AP U.S. History becomes not so important. And talking on the phone doesn't matter and neither does the next episode of Gray's Anatomy.
What matters is love and life and laughing and surrounding yourself with people and things you adore and visiting places that you've only ever dreamt of. And so most of us live on... we go to school or work, come home and crash on the couch, and eat, and sleep and get up and go to school or work. hold true to striving for the American Dream. But some of us, we run after dreams... we trade what we might want right now to have something we want most on down the road... and we live with no regrets... and we do the un-thinkable. And we die... just like the others... only satisfied with the knowledge and love that we gained from those years of truly living.
