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SPORTY_SK8R101
Age: 18
Location: United States
Joined On: Nov 22, 2006
know any good books and authors?
Hey ppls!!!
just wndering if ya guys know any good authors or books
dat u'v read or heard of
I really like Medieval fantasy
so if u got any suggestions- they'd b most welcom!!!!
Thanx :)
The Safest Place- LOL
How to stay safe in the world today.
1.. Avoid riding in automobiles
because they are responsible for
20% of all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay home because
17% of all accidents occur in the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks
because 14% of all accidents
occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water
because 16% of all accidents involve
these forms of transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33%,
32% of all deaths occur in Hospitals.
So... above all else,
avoid hospitals!
BUT...
You will be pleased to learn that only .001%
of all deaths occur in worship services in church,
and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.
Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given
point in time is at church!
...And....Bible study is safe too.
The percentage of deaths
during Bible study is even less.
So,...for SAFETY'S sake -
Attend church,
and read your Bible
IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE
U GOTA READ THESE- DER FUNNY AS!
Actual writings on charts in a hospital:
The patient refused autopsy
+ The patient has no previous record of suicides.
+ She is numb from her toes down.
+ On the second day the knee was better, on the third day it had disappeared.
+ The patient is tearful and is crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
+ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
+ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
+ Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
+ Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
+ Patient was alert but unresponsive.
+ Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
+ She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
+ Patient has two teenaged children, but no other abnormalities.
Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldnt find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said, Lord, take pity on me. If you help me find a parking place, Ill go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and Ill give up tequila. Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Pedro looked up again and said, Never mind, I found one.
*NEVER SAY TO A COP *
1. I can't reach my licence unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 225Kph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Quirky Slogans:
+ In a Podiatrists office:
Time wounds all heels
+ On a Septic tank truck in Oregon:
Yesterdays meals on wheels
+ On a Septic tank truck sign:
Were 1# in the 2# business
+ On a plumbers truck:
We repair what your husband fixed
+ Pizza shop slogan:
7 days without pizza makes one weak
+ In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke, we will assume your on fire and take the appropriate action
+ At an Optometrists office:
If you dont find what you are looking for, youve come to the right place.
+ At a Car dealer:
The best way to get back on your feet- miss a car payment.
+ In a Veterinarians waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
+ In a Restaurant window:
Dont stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.
DONT READ THIS IF YOU'RE UNDER 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This may make you sick!
Why do we sleep in church, but when the cerimony is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God, but so easy to talk about sex?
Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian magazine, but find it easy to read Playboy?
Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly myspace message, Yet we repost the nasty ones?
Why are churches getting smaller, But bars and clubs are growing?
Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Just remember God is always watching you. Repost this as "Don't read if you're under 13." 80 % of you wont repost this. The Lord said: "If you deny me infront of your friends, I will deny you infront of my father."
SavedByMurder
Not lately. But sometimes.
posted Feb 12
SavedByMurder
It;s not medieval fantasy, but Frank Peretti is a
really good Author.
posted Jan 17
Marissa
I hope you are
having an awesome and blessed New Year!! take care and
God Bless You!!
posted Jan 01
Marissa
hey!! check out my new blog!! i hope you have an
awesome and blessed thanksgiving!! take care and God
Bless You!!!
posted Nov 21
Marissa
hey!! what have you been up? God Bless You!!
posted Aug 26
Adam
nice profile pic,sucks that kurt got killed
posted Jul 29
Adam
i\'ve been playing for about two years now
posted Jul 22
that Canadian guy
im here... wut up???
posted Jul 16