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SLK-RAV-143
Age: 19
Location: CLINTON, CAYCE, LEXINGTON
Joined On: Nov 11, 2006
Uh I'm Sam Im 18 Im bi lean more tward girls I have a beautiful hopefully will be my wife girl I'm datin named Rebecca we have been datin on and off for 3 years I love her more than life itself and I wouldnt want anyone else in the world. Shes my life. So yeah anyone trys to take her from me ill come after you so yeah anywho I play guitar listen to all kinds of music....I use to be really into drugs didnt care what it was or were it came from if i got my hands on it i did it. I partied alot and got in alot of trouble and had alot of gfs and crap but once i met my gf i have now i quit all of it so i could be with her....though I'v had my downfall with drugs here and there during the relationship and I actually liked doin the drugs and parties and stuff i love my gf way more and wouldnt trade nothin for her. I'v lost her enough and the outcome for me was not good and I dont want to lose her again. Anywho I hate posers i hate girls or guys who say there bi or gay when there really not i hope u all die. I hate liers I hate Mr.Perry. If u ask me a ? Ill answere it truthfully even if it hurts get over it. I dont trust guys easily...and some girls. I have alot of animals and my science teacher Mrs. Nobles is so freakin hot but i love my gf so yeah peace love and afro grease
my life is fallin apart
sigh i dunno what 2 do I'v hardly seen or talked to my gf all summer.....i no shes leavin or w/e i have a pretty good feelin she gets to leave this summer and thats what she wants i just want her 2 be happy....i just want to spend time with her be 4 she leaves....maybe she is doin this so it will be easier to leave....actually i dont think there is a problem 4 her she gets the word...she'll be gone. she says she'll stay in touch call me everynight if not she'll write me...i just dont see that happenin....everyone is tellin me 2 go ahead and break up with her be 4 she leaves b/c i no shes goin 2 do it when she gets home either that or she'll just never contact me again...i dont want to believe them but the way she is actin seems 2 back everything up....i cant break up with her...i love her so much.... i dont want 2 lose her again....if i havent already. sigh i should be use to this pain i felt it plenty last year....its nothing i want 2 go threw again....iv been formin my friendship with edwina back b/c ill need all the support i can get when she leaves and edwina was there 4 me the whole time last time we were split up and couldnt talk....whats sad is everyone thinks me and becca have broken up and me and edwina are datin...its sad....i spend more time with her then i do my own gf....but if my gf would freakin come hand out with me once in awhile when i beg her to maybe that wouldnt be the case but w/e....it feels like the life is bein sucked out of me it hurts so much...but i cant fall back into drugs or w/e b/c this is my last year of school and i cant afford to screw it up b/c i have 2 take care of my family...if that burden was not on me....theres no tellin what id do...i just wish this was not happening
my gf
amazing how me and her have been dating for almost 9 months and she has not dumped me yet.....we've been datin on and off for over 2 in a half years. I dont think she realizes how much i really love her. She is the reason i get up every morning, the reason Im not a druggy any more, the reason i dont party the way i use to, the reason why i no longer have 18 gfs and 2 bfs, the reason i want to actually make somethin of myself....i dunno if she realizes all of that....she seems to think i will leave her for a friend or some person...but what she does not think about is all those times we were broken up the time we were not allowed to talk for over 6 months i waited for her tward the end i almost gave up but i could never love anyone the way i truly love this girl. even though alot of people are really pissed im with her not b/c shes a girl but b/c of everything that has happened between me and her they just dont see that she is my better half the light to my darkness they think it would be just easy to just move on but they just dont realize what she is to me what she symbolizs to me. i didnt go through hell for her just to give up and 4 get about it. during that 6 month and some days period yes i fell back into drugs but that didnt make the pain go away i hated it i hated feeling all this pain but when i saw her she seemed to be perfectly fine liek there was never nothin there which caused me more pain but even during that time when we couldnt talk she saved me several times when i wanted to over dose she poped in my mind when i had my uncles gun to my head her face poped in my mind then i thought if i do this ill never no if there would have been a chance that i get her back. on my dads boat when this A#$ hole was tryin to give me what he though in his drunkin mind as an "early B-day present" i almost gave up and let him do what he wanted to me and no put up a fight but then i saw a scean of a small girl being raped repeadedly by someone who should love and protect her not hurt her and i ended up stabin the bastard in his hip and got away. i let jessica get to me the whole time we were split up putting crap in my head that she knew would freakin kill me but then i new i would never be able to be with anyone else exspeshily jessica and be truly happy. i went through hell....i still have freakin nightmares about it i still have it randomly pop in my head in teh middle of the day and my gf can tell when it happens then she gets upset and i do and we end up arguin. i still relive that fight that had us spilt up everyday in my head. i never want to go throught that again....when we 1st started datin again i was scared out of my mind to be with her it still gets liek that sometimes but i love her and i wont leave her i wont let her go with out a fight.
REALLLLLLLY MAD
man im freakin pissed off now gerr freakin A.....ok sigh calm i freakin hate when crap pops up in my head about my gf b/c now i want to go on a flippin rampage......man i dont understand some of the crap she does and i wish like hell she didnt do it but yeah....im nervous about movin to florida im worried about how i will react.....tward john....i dont trust him at all i freakin swear if he touches my gf in a way that i dont like even if hes playin around ill freakin kill him or find a way to hurt him.....so sigh now that thats out......yeah im nervous......very im shakin...damn it.....i hate my life man erg i really do.....its very had for me to trust people exspeshily men...i dont trst men around my gf never have never will its that way with all my past gfs 2....unless they were compleat lesbians like hardcore ya no? but yeah....and i love my gf more then life itself and i willl be damned if i lose her to a freakin man. i freakin dare a man to touch her....i really dont want her partyin...b/c oviusley the crap she does when she drinks. but i dont want her smokin and i said ide rather her drink then smoke but its goin to be somethin that is liek 1% alcohol..........argggggggggg . ok i think im ok now.....i have a weird memory thing or w/e what i think or what pops in my head i actually see it as if it were a movie and that makes it a hell of alot worse......sigh i love my gf i cant lose her again i dont want to screw up again. im so scared that im goin to screw everything up....i guess b/c its christmas break and that when everything went wrong last year.....im so scared it will happen again man you have no idea i cant sleep b/c i keep dreamin it in my head....edsacly what happened last year....i cant go threw that agin ide rather die then go threw it again. i swear man ide blow my face off be 4 i go threw it again...in yet i always take her back....no matter what she says or does to me....no matter how bad she hurts me....i mean yeah everytime i get more not so trusting....but i love the girl theres no way in hell im goin 2 leave her nothin she can do or say will make me not love her.....but it sure as hell can make me do some stupid crap....i want to be with her the rest of my life......words cant explain how bad i want us to work out but i always screw it up some how i always do somethin wrong and she leaves me. i just dont want to lose her
depressed
man im so bored i have nothin 2 do i have been home for a day now and im already goin crazy. i miss my gf very much even though i got 2 see her wednesday. but seriusley man i hate comin home....but yeah at least i have this new chawewe to play with its part wenner dog part chawawa very cute. but still bored and lonley im hopin 2 get my ears peirced saturday if my sister comes home and freakin takes me. in other news shes still a slut and i have nothin 2 do. yeah and i've only had one phone call sence i've been home yeah for me nikki jessica and kaite leave me alone. sigh but yeah i also am sad b/c i found out my friend kristy and her family are havin to go back to england cause her pappy is in the army so yeah i mean i havent been separated from her liek long distance wise sence ive known her which ive known her sence i was in the 1st grade. so thats kindof hard 4 me cause i mean shes a big part of my life shes been there 4 me threw all the crap ive gone threw. ive experience everything with her 1st person i got high with 1st i got drunk with 1st i partied with 1st person i ever had to beat the crap out of someone for messin with her 1st person i ever ran off with 1st friend i ever spent the night with 1st girl i ever dated ist girl i ever kissed ....1st longest relationship i ever had...even though we were datin alot of people at the same time but we both new about them and it was kindof liek a big ball of dating people but she was my main girl and i was hers... she was my 1st everything. we dated six in a half years until i met my gf today becca and we split up but remain best friends we just dont do the same stuff we use to if u no what i mean.but yeah shes leavin me. it depresses me. buttttttt sence shes leavin that means her physo pathic cussin jessicas family wont have to come down here every freakin holiday and she wont stalk me and try to get me to screw her...so with that said.....well shes has other family down here but they arnt that close so hopefully they wont come down here as much. but yeah im sad and i miss my gf i love u rebecca amanda vermilling
LOVER
sigh i cant wait to get out of here. i cant wait to be able to be with my gf without people jumpin up my butt. im nervous but im excited. i no it sounds cheesey but i cant wait to be able to like just be able to hod her and not get in trouble. i just i dunno i really love her.and i no i get on her nerves when i worry about us movin in togeather but i cant help but worry. im scared ill screw things up with her again. i dont want to lose her. carp ill write more later
SKRV814
what do you mean your watchin me????
posted May 16
angel_with_the_scabbed_wings
i\'m alright, just got home.. kinda bored too.
posted Mar 02
angel_with_the_scabbed_wings
yeah thats basically where i got it from. hows it going
with you??
posted Feb 25
Maryjane Magdalan
hey momma Glad you are part of the new addiction cuz
YOU ROCK ! Junkie Love
posted Feb 17