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pickled crossroads.

for those of you that dont know me- or would like to know me, or are just reading this because its 'one of those days',- i go to kutztown university in PA. good school, no doubt, but...
its come to that boring state now.

see, for me, when i have this rising in my conscious of being bored, i look for change reallllly quick. it could be something miniscule, like getting a cd i wouldnt normally pick out and falling into a deep abyss of sound for a week, or it could be...
changing schools.
changing my major.
completely changing the plan i had in my life.

i thought i wanted to be a teacher. but with todays youth, this stubbornness, their innate hardheaded feelings, i feel i cannot do anything for them. its something that they, as a generation, might have to undergo- a huge epiphany should suffice. but i feel being a teacher is not going to do anything. i love kids, but, do they love themselves? i cannot stand people who do not love themselves, at least to some degree. and right now, with all these school issues, these shootings, threats, i feel there is an absolute absence of love.

anyway. i have decided, i want to be... get this....
a nurse missionary.
i want to go to countries in such a crisis, they need me. they need help. because they cannot provide it for themselves. i want to do that. dream of it.
and so, im changing to nursing practive, missionary work. big change. one that includes changing schools, changing jobs, changing outlooks, etc.
being a teacher, i had to morph myself into this being who had to stand in front of a classroom, without the ability to saw whats on my mind, without the ability to touch a students shoulder in an act of encouragement, without the passion that teachers once had. no thanks.
with nursing, i can change with my hands.
im a hands person.


oh yea. and with this change, i had this craving for pickels all the sudden.
i used to hate pickels.
now, i love them.


change change change,
SLUD.

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