PureVolume

Depression

I was doing a project for Social Psychology on Teen Depression when I realized, I used to have depression! So I decided to write about my real life experience: I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13. It all started within the first year of high school. Being in a new school made me wide-eyed and wondrous, but it also made me realize I was scared and alone. The first month went by, with new classes, new faces, and a whole new atmosphere. I started socializing with the new students and even managed to make a few friends. After awhile, I got grounded for never doing my homework, and that meant no TV or computer. But fortunately, I still had my phone. I would call my friends and start telling them about my problems. And that worked for awhile, but the solution was not permanent. So I turned to my radio, and I eventually got fully submerged and addicted to it. I would lock myself in my closet after school and I would listen to it for hours on end. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even come out of the closet to eat. Unfortunately, the grounding never worked, as I still never did my homework. I would go to bed terribly late at around 1-2am in the morning. All those late nights I spent writing in my diary. Words would flow out effortlessly, it was as if the diary was writing itself. I could write up to 5 pages each night, but then I realized I had a problem. Sometimes, I would lie on my bed and cry for no reason at all. I would say things like, “My life sucks” or “I hate my life”, and I eventually became emo. My report card was terrible. I was failing some of my classes and I barely went to school. Throughout Winter Break, I spent my time at home, lounging around and being a slug. However, something good did happen. For my Christmas present, I received an acoustic guitar, something that I’ve always wanted. Although, I was too depressed and uninspired to ever play it. Winter Break came and went and it was back to school. But I never went back. I ended up learning by correspondence and a teacher would come every week to my house to give me my assignments. A couple days later, I had found out I had won tickets to see both Evanescence and Billy Talent at the Pacific Coliseum. I was exhilaratingly happy, as I had never been to a concert. I immediately called the only friend I had at the time and she was just as excited as I was. We arrived at the venue, amazed by the massive size and amount of people at the concert. We immediately found our way into General Admission Madness and I could easily say, those were 2 of the best days of my life. Seeing Amy Lee come on stage made me cry uncontrollably, as she is a musical influence to me. And Billy Talent rocked the stage and I danced so hard, I was covered head-to-toe in sweat. I recuperated from all the excitement with a good nights sleep, as the next day I had an appointment with a psychiatrist. She was a nice lady in her 50’s and she made me take a Depression Test. It proved that I had depression and that was when I was diagnosed. I went on medication for awhile, but I never found it useful. So after a couple months, I gave them up completely. I slowly started getting better. I got out more, I made new friends, and I started living life. I started biking again, and that made me so happy. I even picked up the guitar, having been too depressed to ever play. Today, I am proud to say I have overcome depression, with the help of an old friend that stuck by me during this dark period in my life.  Although from time to time I start to ponder on my life, I now realize that I have a sense of purpose: to live, and everyone deserves that.

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My L

I finally got my learner's license! after failing my knowledge test twice :O I have finally passed, and I have a bright red sign to prove it! I remember reading the RoadSense for Drivers book and thinking "hmm, this looks pretty straightforward." I thought I had everything memorized and figured out, but apparently not. I went to the Driving Centre with my dad and he paid $15 for the test. A pass for the test was 80% or 40/50 questions right. I got up to the 45th question before I screwed up. I honestly thought I was gonna pass, so when the computer screen shut down, I cried. yup, I cried because I failed my driving test. sounds pathetic eh? but when you’re so sure of yourself and you find failure mocking you, you can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. so the second time around, i promised myself that i would pass. I read the book over for the 2nd and 3rd time AND took the online practice test several times and got 100%. strange enough, I failed, again. why? I honestly think it was bad luck. I was on my absolute last question, #50, before my screen shut down. I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. I was more furious than exasperated and I swear my face was burning red. I even had one of the workers try to help me out. that didn't work, cuz you know they're not gonna tell you the answers, but it was worth a try. so i thought, "i'm not gonna bother taking this test again. some of the questions are biased and you don't get unlimited time." so i sort of pondered for a month, but then i realized, i need to accomplish something this year. and once i start something, i have to finish it. so i took up the book and read it for the 5th time, with disgust, and finished it. however, i had to go back repeatedly to study my weakness on signs and the questions i got wrong last test. i once again, took the practice tests and got perfect each time. so i thought "i'm DEFINITELY ready this time." but then again, in the car with my dad, i kept reading over the material i wasn't sure of and he said "if you’re not 100% sure, you shouldn't take it." to which i thought, “you can never be 100% sure on driving if you’ve never driven before.” one of the workers called up by number, and i went up quickly. i told him i've taken the test twice before and he wasted no time at all. i clicked the screen and the familiar images popped up. i kept skipping through everything, but i eventually had to answer all of them. the signs had different answers than the ones i had read in the book. this is what i meant by the test being biased. i answered some of the questions easily, while others needed some more thinking time. i had answered 30 questions before i got one wrong. the questions seemed to lag on forever as i was approaching the hour mark. i was sick of answering these questions, and decided to eat my Dad’s cookies, yum. i was bored and restless, but continued into the 40's. i got to question 44 before i realized i might actually pass! i had 5 chances to get the questions wrong, so i only needed one right answer. wrong, wrong, right! question 47 was when i sealed the deal. the computer shut down as it read "Congratulations! you have passed the Class 5 and 7 knowledge test." Boy, was i happy! so happy in fact, i was jumping up and down like a rabbit on tranquilizers. i happily received my Learner's package as my dad hesitantly paid $10. i thanked the worker, who also happened to be working overtime because of me. sucker! i ran out the door screaming "i passed my driving test! i passed my driving test!" it was pathetic and humiliating, but i loved ever second of it. and now, here I am, with my L proudly stuck to the back of my dad's car. now only if he'll give me a chance to drive it...

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Warped Tour

Wow, my first Warped Tour! what can I say, it was an experience! I left my house @ 10:30am, where I met up with my new friend at the bus stop. We talked for awhile about The Believers Never Die Tour as the bus came packed with scene kids! The bus driver was like “where the hell are all these teenagers going?” and I was like “Warped Tour.” and he said “well I guess I’m gonna have to come with you.” haha, that was hilarious. I had a pre-sale ticket, so I could’ve just went in but I waited with my friend instead J I met some of her friends during the line-up, and they’re kinda weird :S after the bag check, we were finally in Thunderbird Stadium! Stages were set up all over the grass and there was a walkway down to the other side with the Vans and Ernie Ball stages and tons of merch tents. Every Avenue sounded great, but a little too pop star for my taste. Scary Kids Scaring Kids were awesome, besides the fact that I could barely hear Tyson’s vocals. My friend wanted to see The Maine, and they were really good. John got the crowd singing during “Girls Do What They Want” and drummer Pat threw his drumstick which landed into the crowd. me and this other girl lunged towards it, and we were wrestling for that drumstick! I eventually pulled it outta her hands, but I gave it to her anyways, because she’s a bigger fan J A Day to Remember was so much fun! crazy-ass mosh pits and tons of cheesy breakdowns :P Escape the Fate was great, with Monte shredding on guitar but some songs were pretty generic :/ Buddy of Senses Fail was terrible, while Heath did most of the vocals, and he’s the guitarist! strangely, I lost my friends so I called them from some guys cell phone to which he said “I don’t care if you use it, it’s not my bill!” while waiting for them, I watched You Me At Six which pleasantly surprised me cuz they were awesome! Josh Franceschi has a beautiful tone to his voice J I eventually found my friends by the schedule tent while Nathan Leone of Madina Lake walked by and said hi J  I was eating lunch by the fence while watching Alana Grace. I got to meet her later and I got a poster J Saosin singer Cove was shit! but the rest of the band rocked. I took a break and checked out the merch tents and managed to get a couple pictures with some bands. one of the highlights of my day was meeting Rob Dyer of Skate4Cancer. He was incredibly nice and I bought a shirt J Silverstein was amazing. They’re one of the most beloved bands at Warped, and they easily proved why. Bad Religion was fun, and controversial as Greg was talking about how the 2010 Olympics shouldn’t be built. I ran up the walkway just in time to see There For Tomorrow and I got a sweet picture of Maika. Alexisonfire was the highlight of the day. They were incredible, and they had the nastiest mosh pit, but I hate mosh pits :P Madina Lake had the best fan interaction. Nathan crowd surfed and held out the mike for all of us to sing. VersaEmerge had a solid performance, and Sierra was on key! Theset was sick! Martin’s auto tuned voice sounded creepy but his falsetto rocked! I finally got to see them! Last but not least, innerpartysystem, who had sick beats but I couldn’t hear a word Pat sang and he spit on everyone! I left while The Gallows were playing and I heard Frank say “We’re better than 90% of the shit on this tour!” and that offended me deeply, but the Gallows won’t last 5 years, he said so himself J I left without my friends because, they ditched me. good thing is, they were never MY friends to begin with J good thing I learned stuff for Warped 2010 J

      1.   make sure you set up a place to meet your friends in case you get lost.

      2.   don’t bring water, it’s too heavy and there’s a water fountain!

      3.   after a band’s done playing, wait by the fence to meet them instead of an hour during the signing.

      4.   don’t be afraid to push your way through. If you need to get to the front, then do it!

      5.   if you can, go alone. No restrictions, period.

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China

So this Summer, I went to China after 13 years in Vancouver. I boarded China Eastern Airlines to Shanghai, and I got seated beside a guy that doesn’t talk so I was speechless the entire ride. as the plane took off, I could feel major head pressure and I suddenly felt tired. After 30 minutes, my head finally went back to normal and I fell asleep. After sleeping for 2 hours, I woke up and did my theory. I had an exam in august which I’m sure I passed J I had noodles for lunch and I had to wait 8 hours before they served me dinner! the airplane soon experienced turbulence and it was shaking and rocking from side to side. That was the only fun part of the entire 11 hour ride :P after a couple more hours of sleep, the airplane started dipping down and I could feel my ears clogging up. The plane finally landed, and when I got out - 30 degrees! I met my brother and mom at the airport and we took the taxi to her house. We ate dinner at a Japanese Restaurant and I am now in love with Taro ice cream :D I didn’t sleep for 2 days, so when I finally got to sleep at my mom’s house, I was exhausted! The next day we went to the Oriental Pearl TV Tower that’s 468 metres in the sky! When we got to the top, there was a vast view of the Huangpu river with tons of high rises surrounding the view. I got to walk across the glass floor where I could see everything underneath. When we came back down, we went to the Shanghai Municipal History Museum which was super cool and featured old chinese mannequins. After that, we went to Super Brand Mall with 13 floors! There were SO many restaurants and stores, and I now have an obsession with Tom’s World, this colourful 24 hour arcade. The next day, we went to visit my uncle’s TV Set where we saw a recording of an episode with old ppl singing Chinese Opera, yeesh! After that, we went to Ikea which had it’s own restaurant! We had Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes, and it was alright :/ the next day we went to the Zoo, where we saw tons of cute animals and I managed to get a couple pics of them sleeping J next day we went to Jinjiang Amusement Park, which was 37 degrees = I got burned! Some rides included a motor coaster, a Cave Mountain like the one in Disneyland and a special roller coaster which started out on the tip of the line and went backwards and into a circle and straight up the other line, and back down. It looks terrifying, but it actually wasn’t that bad J we went to many shopping centres and I bought shoes and clothes from Daphne, Betty Boop, Vera Moda and Susie, this boutique underneath the subway. I visited many relatives and I found out I have 8 cousins! Michaela, Dongdong, Xixi, and Baobao in China, 2 kids in England, Declan in Hong Kong and Annabelle in San Jose. My favourite place in Shanghai would have to be Nanjing Lu, a pedestrian street with many clothing stores and restaurants and it looks so pretty when lit up at night! There’s this wonderful renaissance-looking building where a saxophone player performs on the balcony. my family went to this delicious Italian restaurant called Babela’s Kitchen, which is now my favourite restaurant J I had some pasta and risotto, strawberry cider and the ice cream was amazing! We also took the train to Hangzhou, which we went with a travel group and had to stay in a shitty 1 star hotel! I didn’t even know those existed :O we walked along the Qiantang River and ate in the food alley.  My one month trip to China was great, but I have to admit, doesn’t beat living in Vancouver!

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Grade 10

After 9 months of pure torture, Grade 10 is finally over. This has definitely been the most gruelling school year ever. 1st term was majorly tough with my harmony 4 exam and science 10 being a bitch, with sections in geology, biology, chemistry and physics. 2nd term was the worst, it always is. My marks dropped significantly and I struggled just to pass. 3rd term, my marks went up significantly but I failed my history 3 exam, so that was time well wasted. However, new things did happen this year. I managed to make a lot of good friends that I now cherish. My math tutor had a crush on me, so I got creeped out and I haven’t got tutored since. Juno Fest has definitely been the best day of the whole year. I escorted my friend to prom and she looked beautiful. I won tickets to Rise Against and ended up selling them 2 for $50! I tried out for my school’s singing competition and didn’t make it because it was rigged. I placed 2nd in a piano competition, which was a big dissapointment. Canadian Idol didn’t come to CTV this year, which totally sucked cuz I was gonna audition for the show. They better bring it back for 2010! my 16th birthday wasn’t that great. Originally me and 10 of my friends planned a trip to Cultus Lake, but only 1 friend showed up so we cancelled it. Instead, me and my 2 closest friends played Sweet and Sour in Downtown which was fun, but not as fun without my other friend L June was my friend’s graduation, and that was a big deal. I watched her walk across that stage as she accepted her diploma. I’m so proud of her! the provincial exams were a bitch! I stayed home all week just to stupid for those stupid exams. I passed all of them, but not without studying super hard, cuz I can’t concentrate on boring material. So I am done Grade 10, good luck on myself for Grade 11, and summer’s gonna rock!

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