PureVolume

Nervous Newbie!

Found this site while looking up Paramore, one of my fave bands, and decided to join. Hmmm. Was a bit dubious, as site's with Profile, Comments, Friends etc etc make me kinda nervous! Lol. Let me explain.....
I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder at 14, and I left school, as the illness made me panic and fear going out. BDD, or Dysmorphia, is when you 'morph' your appearance in the mirror and belive yourself to be hideous, see things that aren't true, over-exaggerate certain features. Sounds like I'm off my tree, I hope you have an intelligent, open mind. So I 'morphed' (I do even feel weird saying that), panicked and refused to leave the house. People with this illness avoid social situations. I lost all my friends but one, my bessie of 9 years. I was extremely lonely, and developed depression. I wanted to change things about myself, my clothes, my skin, my hair. I'd even brush my teeth for half an hour with a whitening toothpaste.
Needless to say 14 wasn't a great age for me.
15 wasn't a lot better. At all.
At 16 I got a few months homeschooling, and a few As on English papers that will forever be useless to me. I am unable to do examinations. At 16 however, I found a website that I made new friends on. Finally I wasn't so lonely. These friends were all fellas though.
At 17 I met Mike on that same website, and he has been my best friend ever since. I love him so much. We practically live in eachother's pockets, and although he is miles away, he comes to see me every few weeks. I love him. He takes me out shopping, to see movies, to help me become less scared of people.

Well, anyway....... I no longer 'morph'. I am, though, still afraid of people and social situations. I'm even nervous with Mike.

I even feel very strange on websites such as this...... soooo.......... please go easy on me!!!! *cowers away* ...............

I (rather reluctantly) uploaded a few pics. They are all taken with a camera phone. For a long long time I was unable to take pictures. I'm still a little uneasy with it all.

Well.... that's that..... Hmmm, what else shall I say?! ...... Hmph. I love Emo, Screamo, Alternative, Grunge, Indie, Punk, Rock..... all that sort of thing, and dream of going to concerts/gigs (of course, I can't).


Well that's about it. Better have a look around the site.

Oh, and call me Dee. Or Debbie. =)

Leave a Comment