PureVolume

Pain

Maybe it's just me that walks around thinking about how wrong everything in this world is...

Maybe it's just me that walks by people and thinks about what they're like, why we're not friends, and what life would be like if we'd met under different circumstances.

Maybe it's just me that feels alone.  When I'm with somebody, when I'm with the whole world, or even when I'm with some of my friends.

It's days like this where "Maybe I'm the only one." turns into "I'm probably the only one.".

...  Well, I guess I started at zero...  And you can't get any lower than zero. 

So I'm either better than what I started from, or the same...

.........  Whatever.

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Loud

Drown my troubles. In x's and o's. -Please. This white noise hurts my ears so much that I can't even hear you. But I can still feel that you still need. Just a little something to calm the racing mind.

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YEEeee...

So. I'm confused. But I'm so sure. About love, life, loss, philosophy, gain, hate, winning, losing, all of it. They all seem to make so much sense when lumped into one, but individually, they're nightmares. You know? Meh. I'm really not at all confused at the moment. I'm just in a bit of euphoria. It'd be nice if I knew things were settled underneath it all, though still in transition and have that sense of spontaneity. I guess that's what's meant by a nice balance, hm? .. Ah. You know what I wish?... ... Nah, I'll tell you later.

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Surface

I've found myself content for quite some time.. I'm growing more comfortable with my surroundings and with 'change' itself as the days pass.. I'm in control of myself, and for the things that I do not control, I can deal with. Yet, the world around me continues to whirl and confound. So I'm pressed.. To rap about it. For whatever the reason. Right-o. -Warning- This is long. Read only under conditions of: Boredom. Listen. It doesen't take much to realize how much you care for someone in your own eyes, but take a step back, brotha, do they really know? Do they know what you feel inside and out cold? I once knew somebody, wasn't anybody till I got to knowing that she was undergoing some pretty tough times, but don't we all? But she was caught in the middle of sex, drugs, and Aterol. So I said, off hand, "I won't stand for this, and unless you're gonna change, you're comin off this list filled with people who are just as bad off as you, but there's no measure to what they try to do; But listen to me, you ain't gonna be happy this way. I dared to go there once, that's why I'm messed up today.." And with that, I left her standing there, feelin kinda alone, but feeling I couldn't care. Walk right down the line, I got a bet for 15 grand the sun don't shine. And if you need a place to stay, consider the corner of a dark alleyway. Where do you belong when you got no life, no love, no spot; What have you got? What in the world do you think this is; Cuz this is life, it's what I feel like; No light. I walked back to where I came from. Like a bullet coming back to the barrel of a gun, and it wasn't long till I started thinking about how long I was lost in the world and I couldn't get out, and I had just done to her what they had done to me, I left her in the dust, fallen off of her feet. Left her in a world full of lies and deceit. Told her to walk the wrong way on a one way street. So man, I just ran as fast as I could, wondering if God still thought I was any good, and I found her, battered and left alone, the color under her eyes a much darker tone, I said "Come along, we can't stay here anymore." But when I did, she just walked to the door, she said, "Dac, you know I can't just leave today. I've almost found myself, so I'm gonna stay." Walk right down the line, I got a bet for 15 grand the sun don't shine. And if you need a place to stay, consider the corner of a dark alleyway. Where do you belong when you got no life, no love, no spot; What have you got? What in the world do you think this is; Cuz this is life, it's what I feel like; No light. So now this story has come to an end, or at least this little snippet that you'll hear, my friend; Cuz this is life, and there ain't no end; Less you choose to end it or start over again. Speaking of which, what ever did she do next?- Well, she didn't start over but what she did, you can guess. And so I walk alone, though I walk through with pride. The pain I once went through at times is hard to hide, but I guess now, I can learn from mistakes. And I'll try to live on, whatever it takes, and if you ever feel like you need a way out, never leave your life in doubt;.. Walk right down the line, I got a bet for 15 grand the sun don't shine. And if you need a place to stay, consider the corner of a dark alleyway. Where do you belong when you got no life, no love, no spot; What have you got? What in the world do you think this is; Cuz this is life, it's what I feel like; No light. I'm not answering questions as to whether or not this story is true, or anything of the sort. Music is about perception, what you feel from it, so whatever you get out of it is what you'll have to work with. Hope you enjoyed.

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So, Like..

I used to be shelled.. I used to be a depressed little goon that didn't like to talk at all but got offended when I wasn't talked to. I used to crave attention but try to stay out of the spotlight.. I contradicted so much. But that was then. Now, I'm confident enough in myself not to make fun of people for kicks, I'm finding answers for myself, I'm fifty pounds lighter, and I do what I do because I feel in my heart I should truly do it and not because other people think I should. .. But what made me mad from the whole thing is that there were people that were shoving dirt in my face the whole time I was lost back then, and then when I started to find myself, the turned to me and acted like they wanted something....... I'm all about helping, but sometimes, people are just confusing. Or cruel. Honestly, out of what I was and what I became now, I personally don't think I've made too much of an improvement.. Sure, here and there I've done a few things better or whatever, but.. What I really care about is if I'm a good person. And I don't know how well I'm doing with that. And the world can be like poison. You breath it in, and eventually, it turns you a little sour. .. You know, sometimes, I just want to sit and talk. Just sit, talk, drink whatever we fancy, and talk about what we -really- think. Because that, to me, is worth my time in full, if not more. You can't go wrong with hearts.

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