Rainbows And Tears on purevolume™

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Age: 18

Location: Bridgton, Maine

Joined On: Mar 14, 2006

Occupation: Student

Website: www.myspace.com/xxfallen4uxx

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Well, the world of Felicia hasnt been that great lately at home so Felicia is moving out. If you want to contact me, this is fine or my cell (415-3244), Myspace, e-mail w.e.. But wish me luck!
Felicia <3

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July 3

This Feeling

*sighs* I hate this. I really do. There is this feeling that is in me that is familiar yet different. Idk how else to describe it. A feeling that is so familiar and i dont like it at all. I hate it, but i crave it at the same time; a warped thinking if you ask me. That's how I think though. My parents say that my thinking makes no sense. Well somethin that makes sense to one person can make perfect sense to the other. *sighs*
Today was the day Jim Morrison died. A brilliant man. He is my jesus. A person who was invincible to all. A person who thought beyond. Beyond time, beyond men, beyond the mind.
I feel/felt so helpless today. My mother makin decides for me. She took control of my tongue. And all the while all i could hear was Casey's voice in my head. A couple nights ago she got really upset with how i let ppl. (my parents) step all over me. That night i got real scared. I felt like i couldn't stand up for "us". I felt like i let her down. I feel like she doesnt deserve someone who can't stand up for herself because I'm scared shit-less. So when my mother did what she did today, i felt that wave of fear that Casey will be angry again. I kno she's not angry with me personally, just that my parents walk all over and that I dont stand up for myself. I felt like seriously takin my life today. I was driving with my mother in the car, my hands were gripping the stearing wheel and i so wanted to turn into Moose Pond. I couldn't do it. I saw my friend today who could of given all the drugs in the world. I didnt ask for any. It's been a tough day. And now I'm here, at home, on the computer, when i should be out with my friends watching the fireworks, but instead i live here as a prisoner. I just want to be held and to cry. I haven't cried in so long. so long. It's just sitting there like a heavy burden, on my shoulders and in my heart. My parents have made me ashamed to cry. I just want to be loved, held and to cry.

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June 15

Finally!

Yes, today is the day when skool is done for urs truely, me!!!! I'm so glad! I thought this skool year would never end. GOD! For my award i get to go down to Massachusetts for this weekend with my gf and cousin. I can't wait! god! Well, later!
<3

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June 8

Wow! Yeah!

Wow. Yeah. I haven't posted a blog in god knows how long. Or it feels like it's been a long time. Alot has happened since then, yet nothing has happened since. idk. life has happened. But things aren't too too bad. I have my ups. Almost had my regular downs, but my girl knows how to put everything right again.
The school year is winding down to an end. Finally! Been through so much this year, its incredible. 5 more days left. Thank god! For my reward for all my hard work this year (pfff yeah right) is sleeping over my gf's house. yeah sad i kno. oh, and a whole weekend down in Massachusetts with my cousin. Can't wait for that! But yea other than that things aren't too too bad! Later!
<3

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May 4

Everything Comes to An End

Well, this skool year is finally coming down 2 an end. Prom is in 2 weeks. I'm goin to my gf's not my own skool's. I hate my skool. Thats why i'm not returning next year. Thank god! I mean i kno i will miss my friends and all, but I'll just make new friends. And my gf will be beside me the whole time. I just want this year to end. I want the madness to end. <3

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