purevolume™

lots of unfinished random stuff...

Shallow breathing, gradually deepening
A few short gasps and then it's done
And we're left alone with what we've done.



Why should I take your breath away when I'd rather you were breathing
Why should I stand out when you always know where I am.



I'm so messed up and I don't know why
I'm falling apart and everyone around me is crying

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stay with me just one more night, don't leave me yet
there'll never be another night, just give me this last one
stay with me, i'm begging you, I can't give you up yet
Stay until you can't stay anymore, stay until you can't take my love anymore
just give me one more night to show you the depths of my love
give me one more morning to wake up to your perfect beauty and to still think life is good
give me one more chance to live, one more chance to breathe, I'm begging you, don't take that away.
I promise you, I won't ask for one more night after, just this one, but please give me this chance
I know you don't want to leave, so don't
Stay with me, let me show you my love...let me tell you for the first time that I truly do LOVE YOU.

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Fear

I'm so afraid of losing my hold on what life seems to be.
I'm so afraid of us growing apart through our mutual apathy.
I'm so afraid of what we've become as you seem to think I'm expendable.
I'm so afraid that you don't need me anymore.
I'm so afraid that you'll leave me behind, an empty shell, a worthless wreck, a pathetic vassal of emptiness.
I'm so afraid that we don't talk anymore, it was always our talks that could soothe my ravaged mind, it was always our talks that saved me from the world and from myself.
I'm so afraid that you've forgotten me, that you no longer even trouble your glorious thoughts with the trifling presence of my dark existence.
I'm so afraid that you've haven't forgotten me but that, rather, you've decided I'm beneath you, I'm not worthy of your attention, which I'm not, I'm lower than you're least enemy you devote your time to defeating.
Oh, God! I'm so afraid...take me from this dark Sheol and save me, my love.

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I haven't seen you in what seems like years,
We haven't talked, we've both been too busy fighting the tears.
I miss you, the talks we had, the laughs we shared, the ease of our love.
I miss the mingling of our breath, your warmth in the night, the scent of your hair in the morning.
I miss the taste of your skin, the soft glow of your eyes, the gentle curves of your body.
I miss your voice, your presence, your light, your life, your love.
The worst of it all is how its all my fault.
I pushed too hard, I didn't love you well enough, deep enough, hard enough.
I didn't fight hard enough, I didn't beg you to stay, I kept my pride and now it's the bitterness of it I'm left with.
I'm so sorry, sorry for not loving you, for not fighting for you, for not being worthy of a single moment you graced me with.
I wish I could have been better for you, I wish you could have stayed.
I wish you could have been here to alleviate the dim pallor of a world I now exist in.
I wish I could have saved you from myself, I wish the world could have proved kinder to the both of us.
I wish so many things which will never come to pass, and yet I still hope them because, after all, you loving me should never have been and yet it was.
Please forgive me even if you could never come back, dearest love.

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Meez!

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