purevolume™

survive

I'll circle this building, I'll study its shape, The highest floor window, Will be my escape, Theres nothing to stop me, Nothing you could have done, I had no where to go, And no where to run, I came to you with nothing, I was lost, For way too long, And all my time spent here, I've been nothing, But wrong, The months, they dont matter, It's the hours that pass by, Where minutes turn to seconds, And every word I say, is a lie, My mind is drifting closed, Letting everything slip away, Where I go from here, My silence waits for the day, Just put out my fire, I have nothing left to burn, No more directions, No where to turn, I'm back to having nothing, To help myself feel alive, And to ever think, I believed I was going to survive. courtney kurek

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Take me home

I'm trying to find my way, through the darkness, and being alone,
Like you have never felt before, not like this,
I'd rather show you my world, then try to fit yours,
you don't see the things that haunt me, everyday, every night, in my dreams, I see their faces, their words, lines and lines, over and over, repeated, it all points to me, there's nothing I can do to erase them,
There's nothing I can do, not even to tell you,
you don't know what I've seen, I've felt, I'm sure you've seen, you've felt the same at one point, but it has become a daily routine for me,
I'm tired of faking smiles, laughs, conversation, now you know the truth; I won't be the same,
I don't need to cry out, but I do, not on purpose, but to simply pour out, my pain, something I feel, almost everyday, I do, I don't know why, I don't know why,
I wish I could answer myself,
how can I get better, will I get better, Jesus if your there, I know I've done wrong but help me, save me, take me home, please, I need to be safe with light and warmth, take me home, please

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GET ME ON REPAIR

Pop the pills,
Hold back the tears,
Scream to yourself,
Rub out your fears,
Let the drugs ease the swelling of your heart,
And all the promises from you,
That has been torn apart,
Who ever said love lasts forever,
The endless nights we spent together,
Let the drugs numb the memories,
These pills,

Slowing down slowing down
Let the drugs
Let them take over,
My vision is a blur,
I need them like I needed you,
One more,
Two more, three more
Four,
I don't need you anymore

I can't turn back,
They make you fade,
They make me fade at best,
Blurry reality and burning throat,
How much more beautiful can this be,
Except for you,

I need these pills more then you,
I dream
That you're really here,
So close,
So in fear,
Looking back to the memories,
And searching through the cemeteries,
For my headstone.

Courtney Kurek

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What can you do when you cant to do nothing?
What can you say?
When theres nothing to be said
How can, you fix me
When Im too broken
The pieces you put together
Are urging to break apart
Back into shattered, nothing
My heart breaks piece by piece each time
I dont hear your voice
And it hurts
I could say I can just walk away
But that wouldnt be the truth
And this blade,
The only thing Ive ever known to release the hurt
That continuously builds up
In my veins as the blood freezes
And when my eyes turn glossy, I just want you to know
Im thinking of you
I dont know, if you are thinking of me, to
And I hate it every time I want to forgive you
Its always me apologizing

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split open the beauty

Split open the beauty
That you have left inside
Let the color of the rainbow
Fulfill the sky
Dream of happiness and for not sorrow
And count each day as tomorrow

Strive for laughter and for not pain
As the feeling of walking through the rain
Hold onto the feeling that you once knew
Once upon a time ago
When you said, you had to

Spread out your wings
And sore to the sky
Forget the tears that fall
When you cry
And listen for the name she will call
-Hope to see me once again

Do not blame the fault onto anyone else
Everything that you have done, may be wrong
But to the minds and souls of others
You stand strong
-In my eyes

Captivated with beauty
And no where to go
Run back to your dream
Where nothing comes back to reality
Live to sleep, and see more with your eyes closed
Breathe the cold fresh cut air thats exposed

At the end where you seemed to be placed
Remember my face
-And hope to see me again

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