Suicide Thoughts
Posted April 1, 2007
Suicide one of my many irresistible thoughts, calling me sweetly by name. There's only one person who makes me feel like I'm not important anymore, John Chester, he doesn't even know it. I have thought about suicide more in knowing him than anything else. He is my disease in life. I guess that is what happens when you are in "love." I just wish i could end it all right now, but I don't want to show my weakness. If I ever commit suicide, this is what my note will say: To All Those Who Cared: I'm sorry for this burden. I don't want to hurt you as much as I have. I'm tired of all the crap. I want whomever reads this to talk to: John Chester and Josh Puckett. I want you to tell them that no matter what they say or what they do I will always like them. But with John Chester, he lives in Florida, tell him I loved him so much, and if I had the chance I would go back in time and tell him all my feelings. Josh and John I want them to speak at my funeral. Mom, John is 25 I know the rules/laws, but I love him. He is the reason for me believing in God again. Chelsey, dump Ian. If it's a waste of time get it over with already. Lauren follow your heart. It will lead you to your success and prosperous future. Dad, when the boys get older, tell them I love them dearly. I'm sorry for screwing with everyone's life. Lacey, you deserve the best, I wish you luck in finding him. I love you all, and you all were always there for me. Please, my last wishes are for you to forget all the negative things and remember the positive! You will always be with me. I love you guys and girlies so much. I want my stuff given to my brothers. All the girly stuff have my friends come and see what they want. I love you all so dearly. No one listened, no one helped, what am I supposed to do about that? I thought no one cared about me, and because this happened I guess I was right. I love each and every one of you, I will never forget you. Please, don't let this happen again. I don't want to see you all hurting because of what I say. Look around your lockers, there is something for each of you. Enjoy them, they took awhile. They are poems of what I thought about you and my feelings for you. Mom, look in my desk, they are there for the family. I'm sorry. I really am. Goodbye for the last time. I love you all with all of my heart. Love Always The Departed Brittany Love I have a messed up mind, but no one seems to understand it. I want some people to understand it. Its just one of my many complex features. No one seems to understand that you can hurt me with just a few simple words. I don't have a heart anymore, I was born with it broken hoping someone would mend it, but he just tore it up into smaller pieces. Maybe that's why I'm so cold. Just hoping someone would understand sooner or later. But no one ever does. I wish to know who ever knows John Chester, and actually talks to him, I beg you to send this to him. Please, I don't talk to him anymore. And I want him to know the truth. If anyone on here knows him, show him this, email it to him, whatever. I want him to know what he did to me, I want him to realize that with or without him I am a messed up person, he just makes it worse.
