"Stop second-guessing youself. Just let your self-doubt go and know you're good enough."
That would be my Quote-of-the-Month, said by Tyra Banks and edited by me.
I am having so much trouble with self-doubt at this moment in time... I want so bad to be a part of Carolina Crown, but this brain that I have keeps telling me that maybe I'm not good enough and there are people who are way better...
Damn it, it sucks so bad.
Of course there are people who are better; there always will be. But at this point in the competition, it is about who changes the most from camp to camp and who stays the same. I'm hoping that I will be the one to change enough so that I get noticed, because I know I can do it, and I have to show that to Jennifo and the rest of the judges.
And if I don't happen to show enough improvement this time around, there is always next year, and I will have a lot of time until then to improve myself and then I will make it the next time around.
But at any rate, I am just going to have to keep working and keep looking up. It's all about the attitude that I have going into it and what I take out of it as well. I'm already getting on the good side of Steve, which is fantastic for me, since I didn't get a chance to make leadership last year and I really wanted to be Captain. He's already asked me for advice about the show and whatnot, so... I don't know. I'm hoping that I can help turn the guard around and make it into something that will be kind of a gateway into DCI, for those of us who may want to try out at some point. I know I was in no way ready for what was asked of me, so hopefully I can help out other girls who want this like I do.
Well, that is all I really wanted to say... Actually, I said a lot more than I thought I had in me, so it's kind of good I guess.
But anyway, Later kids.
--80
PS: Here is the URL of the article about Camp... it's got pictures on it; unfortunately, none are of me.
http://carolinacrown.org/artman/publish/article_340.shtml
Sicksicksicksicksick.
I think I am dying.
Head Automatica and Myspace gets me through, though.
Those things, and my New Favorite Band, The Zax. Amazingly enough, their simple melodies and lack of lyrical talent has endeared them to me.
Damn. I think I am the only person on here with like 2 friends...
This thing confuses me. I don't know where to find people.
Gaahhhhhddddammmnnnn.
But any-the-fuck-way.... I am going to go to bed. Have to go to a football game tomorrow. Hopefully we won't go to playoffs. Why can't our team suck like we usually do?!
But yeah. That is all for now. We are taking band pictures tomorrow, so I may put some up here. God knows I need some more for all of the creepy stalkers out there.