The Ugliness in the Beautiful Mess
Posted June 23, 2008
You were supposed to be beautiful
Everything I ever dreamed
Simply wonderful
But I see you, you know
See you running deep in the ground
Hidden from the light
I don't want you to be found
You were supposed to be beautiful
Everything I could imagine
Simply tragic
But I see you, you know
Making these evil habits
Exposing yourself to all
Asking for love
But they don't give a shit about you
Couldn't you see how much I loved you?
I wanted a caged dove
I want to hide you away
Keep them all away
Keep my fears away
Lock you away
Just keep you always the same
You were supposed to be beautiful
Not this way the way I see you
Because I see you, you know
Looking so far from beautiful
Looking tragic, hopeless, lacking a lovely magic
I wanted to keep you with me
See you grow up right next to me
But as we move onto separate roads
Move on to what life has to expose
You were supposed to be beautiful
But I see you
and I don't want to.
~~
Of course I see you, still love you, wish that you knew that I only wanted everything for you. I wanted you happy. Wanted you to experience the joys in life. The prosperity. The excitement. The amazement that life can bring. But now, when I see you, I hate you. I hate who you are now. I hate that you are so hypocritical, ignorant, stupid, alone, doing everything wrong. I hate that I had to lose and be alone just because of you. I gave you everything. I didn't have much, maybe it wasn't enough. I wasn't going to trade in my soul for you. I wasn't going to ever die for you. But I had to give you up fast before you hurt me beyond repair. I never knew you, but I loved you. I loved you like I loved no one else. But all my wanting and yearning and wishing couldn't give you the life that I wanted you to live. I wanted you to be beautiful. I wanted you to be amazing and I think that my wanting the best for you was so much more than you could ever wish for yourself. That's the shame. Now it's over and I'm moving on. Again.
