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Posted November 2, 2006
hey. goddamn computer takes two years to load. gr.
well this week pretty much sucked. why do people always die every fall? i mean, God could at least spread it all out if he can't keep everyone alive. poor des. and now, this sunday im dancing at the fox valley showcase again, and that will be hell i tell you. flashbacks of last year and sore feet is all i have to look forward to. hip hip hooray?
i was so mad at myself. i started crying during chorus on tuesday and i couldn't stop. and it wasn't just thinking about Geo but it was remembering Kathryn and Gabe, too. its not like i want to cry, but i feel guilty when im not because its like im forgetting about them. and i hate what im feeling and i want it to stop and i have an assload of homework but i cant even begin to think about that right now when i feel this lousy. ..great. im an idiot. i just made myself cry for like 5 minutes and i hate everything. i hate me and i hate my teachers who hate me and i hate my friends and i hate my family and i want this room to stop fricking spinning cuz i cant type and i just typed that sentance 3 times trying to get the spelling right. this blows.
