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BREAKINGCRESCENDO
Age: 17
Location: austin texas
Joined On: Apr 23, 2008
music is my all.... i live it, breath it, make it and love it. my all time favriot band is Panic!.... it used to be linkin park, but i think i listend to them so much they became something like a hand,,,, which is compleatly apart of me.... so much that it doesnt really need announcment....i enjoy art, and choir, i love to jam out..... and i love to learn....... i want to move to scotland soon, and i want to start making My music Everyones music.
your about to get your ears slammed
so it seems that my roomate found another way to get under my skin. Not only does she know everything when it comes to most everything... shes also is 100 clear as to what the "war" is about.... i would laugh and move on.... but i think the last time i did that was a counting fortieth time, so its a very over used tacktic on my part, so i find need to vent in this blog. ..... well just 3 days ago i started making it very known that i planned on joining the army.....Im excited, my brothers proud..... my moms,,, well freaking out.... but the one persons opinion i shouldnt give a fuck about.... is the one that makes me want to scream. the term she used was "useless"...... i would really like her to say that to a soldier on there 2nd tour of iraq. you see its not the fact that she thinks the whole war thing is wrong its the fact that she thinks that the military has no purpose.... i can agree that maybe all the military force in the middle east is the wrong aproch but to srip the pride away from any soldier is really wrong. ... whatever.... its freaking 422am..... im tierd and frustrated.... cant think or write straight...... but i really needed to spill,,,,.... i will probibly rewrite this tomarow.....im sure the anger wont die down, even a little.
the one time I ask for your help!
the one time i ask you to pretend your my mother..... tooooo freaking late!... you already started your daily 12pack no wait..... my bad,,,, you were "trying to help"......... if only i could understand your slurred words! .......again, my bad..... its totally not your fault that life has treated you like crap and you deserve to escape sometimes... well if only you knew that life wasnt only treating you like crap!!!! i was at yourside, taking it in the face along with you.... but that doesnt matter.... cuz you mostly forget that stuff that happens when your younger...... if only i didnt have the freaking scars to remind me! and did it ever cross your mind that .....hmmmm.....your overdoing the whole escape thing??.... ....take a vacation, get it all out in one simple week, and make sometime for you freaking daughter!!! ...im going to breath......and exhail.....give me a second to remember that.... SOMEHOW, its not her fault,,,, that SOMEHOW maybe IM the one whos out of there mind............
this kinda bothers me....
so. i have this roomate. and i really wish i didnt. not only does she like to challange everything i say, she doesnt know how to pick up after herself..... oh and SHE decided that WE would get a dog. AAAND she listens to Rap.... which i can totally appreciat..... but when it comes to whats going to be played out loud..... and shoved into my finely tuned ears.... i get a little annoid.... no, i get really annoid. But as a good roomate i dont say anything. I also dont say anything about her teenage friends who think our appartment is some kind of free for all. I guess along with being a good roomate, im also the made. And to her its purly because its FAIR.... because I " wasnt here the last time."... and that was when it was her turn....so of course its my turn..... I really want to tell her how if after you "clean," and its still dirty when you finish... you in fact HAVENT finished. But of course this is small and nothing to break a lease over.... which i wouldnt concider at that point.... but it seems we are at another point.... and this "point" is most annoing to me. She treats Everyone like shit. She roles her eyes and minipulates people in cruel ways. I have seen her do this to her mother several times. Which bothers me because her mother gives her SOOOOO much more than she deserves.... including her rent monie. This is scary to me because, i expect that the lady will soon crack and stop fueling the monster.... which would probibly cause her to not pay her share of rent.... especially since she DOESNT FREAKING WORK!..... and she just dropped out of college... i could really care less, but im kinda not in a place that would make it easy to look away. She expects that since we have to live with eachother we should be friends, wich I try, but its really hard to WANT to hang out with a Jerk.... I really think i have had enough. .... Today she walked in with a speeding tickett, and was bitching that her mom yelled at he. I said... in the politest way i could, that she was probibly just worried about insurance, which of course, like everything else is in her name.... she flipped shit about that.... SHEEE doesnt think that ANyone has a right to shout at her... even her FReaking mother!.... apparently I made a face when she said that..... and all of a sudden it wasnt my buisness. ...... WELL BITCH WHY THE FUCK WHERE YOU TELLING ME IN THE 1ST PLACE??!! .... but i didnt say that.,,,, i said "whatever i dont really care neways"........ SOOO here I am... shes not home... shes out with her moms credit card..... I really dont know what to do, well kinda. I WANT to take off to the Army, which i tottally could, but i reallly need to start getting things rolling. Like my deploma, which i have to pay for befor i get. After that im all set. Screw the lease.... Screw the BITCH!
backward job hunt
it seems i quit all my jobs even when i know i need them. every job i had found some way to tell my self that i shoildnt stand being treated the way they treated there employees, but it seems that every place i go.... its all the same. so right now i sit here jobless, after quiting sonic, which was truly aweful, wondering were all those kid like dreams went. i was going to start a band and make it big. making enough monie to not worrie about anything but music, which would be the best. i had a little taist of this in high shcool where more than half my classes where musical, pluss the befor school chamber choir rehersal. I think it was the happiest i have ever been, too bad it was only for half a year. I felt the Need to move from my sisters house, where i felt compleatly out of place, to an apartment shared by my roomate and occasional friend anna. I have learnd that most my age kids are LOUD and ruDe and have NO respect for other peoples homes. I also learned that its really hard with no one to hug you and tell you good night. So yesterday i called my sister to see if my niece isabella could come to the lake with us, but instead got a lecture.....and my old job back. I didnt NOT like Party Pig its just that its really boring. i know thats a really stupid reason but honestly how can i really sit back and accept that my life is really that unimportant... i dont know, but im waiting to talk to my sister again to know my schedual..... i really hope life will soon get better!!!..... and funner, cuz the club aint cutting it anymore
i miss you..... a lot
To all my family, i owe you words i should have already said. I love you all. I miss you and now know how much i need you guys. You have pushed me to be the best at all i ever attempted, and i now know how much i was protected. I feel like the past two months i have fought against every thing i knew to be right, and am now realizing that what i had was good and right. I am starting to miss those stupid barbeques and get togethers, and now am feeling empty without the reminder that i have people on my side. I realize that all those time i told myself and the world that you guys didnt do enough, have enough, give enough, or try enough, i was only compairing. I know now that even when i didnt have as much stuff as the rest of the kids, i was in no way cheated out of Love. I sit here now, knowing that i am one lucky 18 year old with one awesome family. mom i love you more than anyone in the entire universe leslie(sis), thanks for taking care of my sorry ass when i refused anyone else annette(sis), your the only one in the world i can tell anything aaron(bro), you scare All my male friends, but i know that no matter what no one will mess with me einar(step), i no longer think of you as just my moms boyfriend casmier(inlaw), thanks for letting me live with you and les, i know teenagers are scary bin(inlaw), thanks for making my sister happy to my nefew christian, johnathan, julian.... and the newest twins, gabriell and gabino I love you guys soooo much and i know that you will become some great people to Isabella, my niece, i love you more than i think you know,,, you are beautiful and smart, and i know that you have amaizing dreams i cant wait to see you accomplish Kirra, Katelynee, and Jaiden.... i love you guys and am so lucky your going to be family Angie, Joe, Annissa, and Anthony.... you guys are the coolest cuzins in the world! the rest of you.... mark, nelson, nye, jonny,.... who am i forgetting..( u obviously dont call enough).... well n e way i love you too,,, unconditionally of course, your Hamiltons, and i know that alone means your some bad ass Dudes
Gilbert P.
mid-town is the great little city of midland tx. the
most boring place in the world....
posted Apr 30
Nomad Threads
hey! i'm matt. and i'm bored. this profile is for my
"clothing company" if youre bored check out the stuff i
have posted and lemme kno wat u think. or if u wanna
make my day and help out u could put our banner on ur
page or maybe get a shirt... but anyway... whats up?
posted Apr 30
Cranaze
whos the girl who wants to be my frend? jk, i luv ur
bands, great stuff especially panic at the disco
THEY'RE F'N AMAZING!!
posted Apr 25
jo
hi can u be my friend
posted Apr 24
jo
hi can u be my friend
posted Apr 24