uhh i dont know some bullshit i wrote
Posted March 16, 2009
Fish flopping in water dont care i got a shotgun and it wants to listen. Find me a barrel we're gonna have a real nice talk. Get comfortable. Say something degrading, if that helps, you think im wilting but i see your cracks spreading wide. See i got this needle and ive been waiting to try it out if only i could follow direction. Your not a junkie but i think youll do you smile too much to not need the help im offering. I could get inside your mind and let loose my blood toxins reincarnation for the poor in spirit choose me as your god you will be amazed this unholy thing turns your legs to jelly and your hearts to stone spread yourself wide lick at your own filth prepare to abort friends and family join the cult of your own stupidity you are truely welcome:) But whats this? I scream till all i see is blood; then recoil in shock. Who would dare to treat me kindly! Haven't i done enough to assure my privacy in persecution? Why arent you shocked? What are you looking at? I tremble in fear not understanding this is not the pity or revulsion i am used to encountering. NO! You cannot possibly understand what ive been through i am not a man i am a monster! I the sick little lump heaving in a corner lashing out at the helping hands. I feel no pain not because i hold some key to overcoming but because pain is a gift i have not earned. I exist to know what i am not i am not real. I wont let you love me. But through all this you return my rants with silence my silence those eyes wont let me go and i surrender. its not real its not real its not real but i do feel hands moving like a cool breeze they close my eyes and take my pain and know all my darkest yet there is no spark of judgement only a infinite world of gentle noise its not real its not real its not real kill me happy kill me quick i cant dream much longer
