PureVolume

this...is more now than it ever was...

First with your hands, then with your mouth
A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
We made it happen
You took off your clothes, left on the light
You stood there so brave, you used to be shy
Each feature improved, each movement refined
And eyes like a showroom

Now they're spreading out the blankets on the beach
Oh that weatherman's a liar, he said it'd be raining
But it's clear and blue as far as I can see

Left by the lamp, right next to the bed
On a cartoon cat pad she scratched with a pen
"Everything is as it's always been,
This never happened"

"Don't take it too bad, it's nothing you did
It's just once something dies, you can't make it live
You're a beautiful boy, you're a sweet little kid
But I am a woman"

So I laid back down, wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost 'cause something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing

Now I do as I please, and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free
And a little bit empty

No it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments, we'll always agree
And I'll try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We'll both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
And I'll keep you there so you can't bother me

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my mistakes...

so recently, my boyfriend left me... its been almost twenty days... he says hes "thinking" im not sure what that even means...

i love him. more than he'll ever realize. but im afraid that if i keep telling him that, he'll run. weve been together on and off for twenty seven months. two years, three months. hes leaving for college in the fall, not far, university of texas @ dallas... about twenty minutes. i thought that maybe he was worried that he wouldnt have time to hang out with me but his class schedule isnt that time consuming. everyone keeps telling me that if i wait.. he will come around. im not so sure of that. even his mother said that. but, im hoping for the best. i just want him to be happy.

i was told that he was just trynig to let me down as nicely as possible... do you think thats it?

ive made alot of mistakes... most i care not to discuss... but our relationship has always overcome... my worst mistake i believe is not showing him how much he means to me... im terrified that ill never get that chance again.

michael. im so sorry. 

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