purevolume™

new post

i am really not very dedicated to purevolume, at all. by the time i really pay attention to my purevolume profile, my blog entry is really outdated. so, i always delete my old one and start fresh. mainly because i have changed so much and my life is so different, and mainly because i like new beginnings. anyway, lately things have been alright, nothing too horrible, but nothing too great. i have an amazing boyfriend, named zak. we have been dating for eight months, today. he and i are at around the same points in our lives, and we are really, really close. i have never felt this deeply for anyone, and it scares me. probably because i don't know what i would do without him, and that sounds pathetic. and i hate sounding pathetic, but i know that it's true. and of course we fight, and it's always over the dumbest things. mainly jealousy. i hate being jealous, believe me i do. i hate that feeling in the gut of your stomach, but i can't help getting jealous, and i know that neither can he, and i know that we both just get annoyed with ourselves and we take it out on each other. i just want things to work out between us so badly. hmm, okay that's way over enough about that.... family wise, things are alright. there is always stress because i hate my mom's boyfriend with a passion. he is by far the most immature person i have ever met and his attitude bugs the heck out of me. so that brings up arguments between my mom and i. and i hate fighting with her, because she tries so hard for my sister and i, and i love her, a lot. i just am not the type of person to sit back and let things happen without voicing my opinion. other than that, it's sad because my older sister moved to oregon in september, and even though we didn't get along all the time, i miss her more than anything, ever. and one of my older brothers lives in florida, and i miss him too. also, my other brother and his wife are having issues. well, actually, she has issues. she apparently "needs space". and i want to hate her for it, because they have this adorable son together, who is only around seven months old, and she is just stressing him out. not to mention, she's hurting my brother, and that isn't something she wants to do. other than all of that, my family is the same as always. big, loud, and opinionated. i got a job :). well actually i started october 6th, so it's been awhile since i started. i work at nutbush city limits. it's a restaurant/bar with outdoor volleyball courts. overall, it's a decent place for my first job. the people there (well for the most part) are incredibly awesome. i love them and how energetic and carefree they are. but i hate my job itself. i bus and dishwash, oh so glamorous (not). and again, it's not hard or anything, i just don't like doing it. i think i would enjoy working where i could be more social more. plus, when i have to work whole weekends by myself, i want to just pull my hair out. not to mention, i only work weekends and since i have school during the week and work during the weekends, i hardly ever have time to just relax. that brings me to school. it has been so stressful all year. first term i had speech, algebra two, us history one, and spanish two. i ended the term with a+ (speech), a- (algebra two), a+ (us history), and a+ (spanish two). they are pretty good grades, but it was hell getting them. i found that i actually enjoyed speech. i did my final speech on the rfk assassination, and i feel like i did a really good job. this term i have gym, algebra two, us history two, and spanish two... so basically the same classes. gym has got to be the dumbest class ever, mainly because the people in my class are just extremely immature. not to mention, i'm kind of slacking off this term, which worries me. whatever, i'll step it up when i have to, it's because i'm such a procrastinator :). anyway, last night i slept over at a friend's house and we had other friends over. it was alright, i suppose. today, i just came home and then i had to clean clean clean, because tomorrow is thanksgiving! then i had to watch my nephew, which is always fun and stressful at the same time. i think the main reason why i came on here, was because i got a new main email address and i needed to change it on here. i think i'm going to go to bed soon. i'll try to update regularily, but don't hold your breath... you might die :P.

"the weak can never forgive. forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."- Mahatma Ghandi

Leave a Comment