PureVolume

bull shit

its not that i want sombody to see all my little depressed rants. i dont want people to talk to me. pretend to be concerned. i kno that no one will see this and that is fine with me. i just need a place to lay out my thoughts, not in a diary, or something like that.

today i am tired, tired of wanting things that i cant have, and having things i dont want. tired of looking at your face and seeing things that arent there, then crying after the fact is shoved in my face. while were alone im the only girl in the world. but in a group its like im invisible. too often this happens and i just walk away hurt. but of course you dont see this because you are too focused on them. what am i doing wrong that turns them all away. told lies and false truths slip from their lips as they try to comfort me. bull shit... i kno they are. they hurt more than the truth. falling into old habits. returning to the past, just to make me feel comfortable with myself. dreams of past becoming vibrant, red hot, burning, stinging, memories like scars. reopened and bleeding.

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We're Listening To You

your listening to me? that makes, well one. these days i feel so alone. i focus myself into others problems, not taking the time to address my own. but once again... who the hell will read this ever. i know they wont they dont even care. i bet if i just left today averyone would be better off.

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pages

once again im held between the pages of my story. cant move forward cant turn back. i try to move on but the words drown me out. i am unheard and unseen. hidden in the covers of my story.

no one wants my story it doesnot have the happy ending they prefer. my story is of hurt, betrayal, and despair. no one wants me and my story. we are tattered and frayed, used and beated. the edges old and yellowed from time. my cover scratched from the numerous falls, of heart and mind.

who would want this junk i call myself. i do not even want it. no one could ever love something as damaged as me. why do i even try. i pursue only to fall behind one after another races ahead of me to take the prize. but for me i am stuck. stuck between the begining and the finish. inbetween the pages of my story.

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Kiss

The pain I feel inside of me for you I can see you have your doubts, Doubts of yourself....and of me Will this ever change? It can't go on forever you won't make it through the night I need you! You are my addiction, my drug, my comfort for the pain. You're jeapordizing that Why won't you stop? Can't you see I need you, to see your face, my saving grace You've turnned from me but I can't look away... I'm forever locked in your gaze I melt away The touch of your embrace sends me forever craving more... One more touch... Just another kiss You deny me this pleasure I can't stand it...this you do kills me... And will soon kill you

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Sad...

Shit, I hate this place I hate life ... I want all this to go away ... I can't hide my feelings like this any longer. But I can't get rid of them either. I kno he dosent feel anything for me... He dosent even wanna talk to me!! Every time I think of how we aren't together, I cry long and hard. I bawl cause I kno in my heart us together is what is right. My heart explodes just at the sight of him across the room. Just knowing he is there puts me in a better mood... Till I begin to think of how no matter how hard I, try the hours I spend trying to talk to him means nothing!!!!!!! Nothing ever changes But what should I expect I've never been pretty enough, or just god damn funny/interesting enough for anyone. I'm a failure But what does it matter no one cares :.( Whatever Goodnight

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