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A Story Of A Girl Named Kate :By Kiersten Benson

AS she took he Razor Blade in her left hand she began to cutt her right wrist marking it with a K. As she glanced at her newfound way of coping with her pain............... It soon became so bad that whenever she was upset she would cutt. That’s the only thing she could think of doing. One day in High school after a long time of being made fun of she took her Tic-tac container holding two enticing Razor Blades and she stuck her arms inside the desk and she began to cutt her right wrist. She thought that she had her arms far enough inside the desk that no one would see she definitely knew that her teacher wouldn't be able to see, but what she didn't know is that a boy in her class saw her bloodletting herself and at his lunch he told several people what he had seen Kate doing. One of her upper classmen friends heard about it and she was very worried about Kate. When she saw Kate when she was about to go in third block she asked Kate to show her her wrists so Kate showed her left wrist of which was scotch free of marks and her friend said "No show me your other wrist." Her right wrist of which was covered with several of those rubber band bracelets and her friend told her to move them and as she began to move them her friend could see the marks, there were several marks of self-inflicted wounds all over her right wrist. When her friend saw what she had done to her wrist she said, "Please don't do that, drink or smoke pot or something, but please don't cutt." Kate went to third block very worried about how the boy in her second block class had seen her cutting and how he had told several people that she couldn't concentrate in class because she was wondering what if he told the counselor? What would happen if he did tell the counselor? She would soon find out what would happen if he had told. She then went to fourth block not as worried as she had been and sometime during fourth block her teacher got a call for her to go to the counselor’s office. She immediately knew the reason why and when she was called down she went to the bathroom before she went into a stall and took the Tic-tac container with the two razor blades and flushed them down the toilet. Then she proceeded to try to cover her self-inflicted wounds with foundation but the wounds were too fresh and much too many to cover up. When she finally went down to the counselor’s office her mom was in there, in past years when she had been called to the counselor’s office at different schools she could always make an excuse for the marks, some of her past excuses were, “I was Skateboarding and I fell,” “A cat scratched me.” Things like that, but not this time, this time she couldn’t make up an excuse like that so she said that the wounds were from a few days earlier and she thought that maybe if she said that, that would get her out of being taken to “The Ridge,” but they were all too smart to believe her so they began to search through her stuff looking for the razor blade, but she knew they wouldn’t find the Razor blades. They had the police officer escort her to the hospital ER where they did tests both physical and psychological. She then rode with her mom, brother, and sister to their mom’s beloved friend Tiffany Trizna’s house where they got something quick o eat and Mrs. Trizna drove Kate and her mom to “The Ridge” while Mrs. Trizna’s eldest son gave Kate’s brother and sister home. Kate was determined to get out of the treatment center as soon as she could even if it meant she would lie to them when they asked if she had felt like hurting herself. She would tell them no when she actually did. While she was there they diagnosed her with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Because about 2 years earlier she had been Raped and that’s when and why she began cutting. They put her on some Meds. And when she got out of there she just began to cutt all over again. One Night after youth she asked her youth pastor’s wife to come over to where she was and she handed her a folded up piece of paper with two rusty razor blades she didn’t even want to give them to her but she did and she saw her throw them away and she was thinking about going and getting them but she didn’t and plus her youth pastor’s wife wouldn’t let her get them any way. But then after a little while of not cutting she went and got more Razor blades and began to Cutt again then she stopped right before she went to Camp Crestwood (Kate’s Church camp) and on Thursday during camp Time Live they had the youth alive director come and speak and he was saying the statistics of people who think about suicide and who have actually tried to commit suicide, And he said that there were at least 25 students there who had thought of suicide and then he said. “If any one feels like you are dealing with his and you want to talk instead of going to clubs when they are dismissed to come up to the stage.” Kate didn’t want to go but she felt God telling her to, so she did and there were 5 girls including Kate that came to talk with him and so they did and, oh did God begin to heal them all. Kate felt as if her PTSD was getting better after camp was over Kate tried real hard not to cutt again and there was only one other time that she cutt again but that last time her arm throbbed for several months. That November after camp at Fall Fling she signed up to be a CM (Campus missionary) and she now feels that through music God is wanting her to reach out to teens that cutt and think of suicide and to let them know there is hope and that someone really does love them and that there is a purpose to life and that it’s through God. Kate has now gone a whole year without cutting thanks to God.

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