- Listener
KELSEY_D13
Age: 17
Location: Napoleon Oh.
Joined On: Dec 28, 2005
Occupation: -none-
Website: www.myspace.com/my_chemical_...
so this is my purevolume. there isn't much to say. i have myspace, i guess it's some sort of trend now, so add me if you want to. www.myspace.com/my_chemical_romance3. i have xanga too. www.xanga.com/kelsey_313.
You can breathe now.
I don't know what to say, to be honest. I just feel like writing. I've had a lot on my mind these past few days. I hate the fact that I'm so nieve. I've got myself into a mess, and dammit, I want out so fucking bad. I've realized that sometimes I need to be selfish in order to do what's best for me. I need to fix this. I sat in my room for about an hour today just staring at my wall. I laid there and thought long and hard about what I want. I came to the conclusion that I'm not helping myself and neither is he. I feel so decieved and used. Fuck. I'm so tired of this. Goddammit.
enlightenment.
I wrote this on a plane headed to Miami about a week ago. I'm typing this in a blog, because I honestly want him to read it and understand where I'm coming from. "I left today at 11. I said my goodbye's to Alex. It was really hard, because I'm going to really miss him; hell, I already do. I was trying so hard not to cry when he hugged me. I just kept squeezing him tighter and tighter. Perhaps I thought that the tighter I squeezed him, the less shitty I would feel. I'm on my way to Miami, and I'm listening to his old Sinking Ship songs, and I realized how in love with me he was back then. I was too damn bling to see it. I guess this is where karma kicks me in the ass. God, I miss how he used to be. He used to do and say little things to make happy everyday. Now, we fight constantly. I miss how he used to treat me. He used to treat me with such respect. Now, he argues with almost everything I have to say. I hate the fact that he's changed so much. It scares me, because sometimes I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore. And I'm supposed to be the one who knows him better than anyone else? I'm scared of him meeting other people, because I don't want them to see something that has been so precious to me since February of 2006. I miss my old Alex. I miss all the things my old Alex did. I miss how he was always in a good mood no matter what. I miss how he SHOWED that he was so in love with me. I miss how he would randomly surprise me with my favorite flowers. I miss how he used to surprise me with a song that he recorded just for me. I miss how he used to want to take me out to dinner to my favorite restaurant only to see me happy. I miss how he used to listen to me. I miss how he cared about my feelings. I miss how he used to wear cologne every time we hung out, just because he knew that I loved the way it smelled on him. I miss how we used to listen to Tegan and Sara and the Arcade Fire. I miss how we used to yell out every damn word. I miss how much he used to miss me when I was gone. I miss how he always used to wear his purple and black tee. I miss how he used to sing to me without me begging him to. I miss how he used to skateboard all the time. I miss going to the church where he was skating just so he could give me a big hug. I miss how he always ate Nerd's Rope. I miss how we always used to go to BG and look at music. I miss his brown Van's hoodie that he always used to let me wear to bed. I miss how he always used to talk about us being together forever. I miss how he called me all the time, just because he wanted to talk to me. I miss how I never had to remind or tell him to call me. I miss how he made an effort towards things that were important to me. I miss how he never took me forgranted. I miss how he actually showed that he cared about what I have to say. This is almost pointless. I'm not okay. I feel like I don't even fucking know him sometimes. I miss the way you used to love me, Alex. You've changed, and I wish that you could see how this is affecting me. The wind whipping our face; there are white caps on the waves. We'll sail into the sunset; just you and me. AND NEVER RETURN."
(andrea)
hello there, =]
posted Jun 10
xFuckXxCoreX
hey =]
posted Feb 28
cowtamer
Hey whats going down? you should check out my new
band! www.myspace.com/iamwavesband
posted Oct 05
Patrickrock
Hey Gorgeous :] I\'m good and you?
posted Aug 28
Patrickrock
Hey Kelsey :)
posted Jul 26
VictorRocks
where have you been? :s Maryland... haha
posted Jul 23
DoNnELl06
What up wit ya?
posted Jun 27
Scully7171990
thanks. =]]
posted Apr 10