PureVolume

favourite moments

a lot of the previous blogs on here are mildly aged, and they come across as ... young.. or immature. in my opinion. which is okay to say because it's about myself, and it's okay if you agree. i was pretty lame. actually, much hasn't changed,
but I do have funny friends who I can just steal jokes off of and appear creative and witty, but am actually so not.

Anyway, there was a point to this blog. there was something I wanted to pour out, a thought or two that keeps bouncing around in my head, dying to be let free by my fingers. so here it goes...

Every once in a while, I have found myself priviledged enough to be, I guess you could say, in the right place at the right time. I have these moments where something will happen and my life almost shifts to a brighter level and I'm just ... satisfied or happy, wholely happy for a bright moment, and then it's embedded on my memory.
An example would be a scene I saw on a show on TV where a heat/electrician man complimented a women he had felt affection for in earlier years. Both of them now in their thirties, single, and she only comes home every once in a while while he still lives in their hometown. One afternoon he came over to fix something in her mom's house (where she was visiting) and it was clear the mother set it all up, devising a plan to make her daughter alone with this man on their front porch in the afternoon. The movie: "Home for the Holidays". He said to her, after light, somewhat awkward conversation,
"You still look beautiful, Claude."
The funny way about him was he was sort of a shy, ungraceful man, but still a good man. When he delivered the line, it reminded me of a piece of advice I'd heard of how you should never lead a guy on, just give him rejection because guys are used to it. You can tell when the electrician said his compliment, that before it'd even spilt off his vulnerable lips, a visible swallow and settling of his eyes (that became fixed on anywhere but her), reveal his realization of such vulnerability, and regret follows this realization. but then something shifts, he glances at her again and then
AND THEN
the reason to live,
the thing that moves our souls,
allows us to fall in love,
and out of love,
get out of bed in the morning:
HOPE.
Hope dashes into his eyes as he glances at the receiver of his compliment, as he looks out from under the veil of past rejections to the possibility presenting itself, the hope, only hope
of acceptance.
And beyond that? in his wildest dreams?
advancement; relationship.
As we all long for such a thing: I believe we all have that
beautiful,
irreplaceable,
untouchable
hope.
I find mine in my favourite moments.

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ernabella tsol?

i think my worst nightmare has happened.
i think im forgetting what happened this summer. i think im forgetting the childrens faces we played with, the smells, the sights of endless red desert, the stars the seem reachable. i think im forgetting their language, the rolling of their "r"'s the joy in seeing them silently with their eyes shut, praying with us, or the wild chaotic playground made that way by the spirit of the childish play let out of the numerous kids.
now i miss the smells, the sights, the hands constantly grabbing after yours, the eyes questionably searching your for understanding, searching for the attention they needed, and the answer to whether my eyes belong to a nice person or abusive.
i miss catching my breath after carrying them across the playground, over the glass because some of them were shoeless. now i miss taking their hands, playing games, smiling, and watching them smile, laughing and hearing them laugh. i miss daring to be their friend and hold them close, despite the desease and sickness that was revealed around their noses and in the bumps upon their skin. i miss feeling like everyday was worth something more than what i do countlessly at home.
i travelled to australia this past summer from winnipeg, manitoba, canada. i got to travel from south australia to the northern territory with some australians and others from winnipeg and canada, and we went to ernabella, an aboriginal community strewn with violence and despair and addictions, but we saw amazing things happen. we saw hope being sewn into the hearts of the children and the women.
im afraid i might lose the lessons i learnt from this summer past.
but this has actually helped me out a bit.
its made the world around my memories seem totally surreal. i almost forgot i was awake.
hey, if you read this, you must be bored, :P if you think you might never experience something like that, you very well might. even soon.
its up to Him. see? it is better this side of the bridge walkway. :-)

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hey, living two lives ain't cool, bro.
if you're partying and worried that somebody at church will notice and realize you're not serious about Jesus, then ask yourself why you're going to those parties and to church. I think you still go to church because, deep down, you want to. There's something different there; something safe. Those parties can't give you the 'good times' that last like Jesus can. Jesus can take you around the world and show you His greatness. Parties and drinking lasts a few hours and usually don't end that well. There's potential of making a fool of yourself and getting lost and making mistakes and regrets. Sure, they're fun. Who doesn't want to depend on a little bottle to loosen you up to 'be yourself' and 'be funny'. Dude, Im dead serious. I've seen the consequences of both sides of this double life- full on church, and full on "fun", and the latter of the two ain't pretty.
You can have way more fun realizing your potential and living in the things God wants for you than living for a few hours at something that you cant exactly control.
just a thought.
*aynz

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pause time for some time

i wish i could pause everthing in life including school and such... basically pause time so that i can rest for a few days and then when i get super bored, start time again to make money and then pause it again to go out and buy stuff and then start it to work like crazy, get all the money for univ and road trips at least. but i hafto go now. i have class in ten minutes.
and i need to shower. so no time for that. theres a sweet version of a 90s favourite (song) i think its "i will survive" or something. its on turner classic movies.
haha i havent showered, and thats like a secular sin at my school. whateve's tho, i dont go to school to try to impress anyone. a'ight, peace out whoever read this. [nobody]
*aynz

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blawg

so im watching the profile of ashley, jessica, and the simpson family. basically, they're my favourite people in the whole world. i think ill write them a letter, expressing my gratitude for them just being alive. im so excited to be a part of their lives now, and open up my own business selling merch for the simp fam.
whats happening? basically, here's the thing: i had a skating test today (dont ask if i passed!) and i came home at like 4 or something, and fell dead asleep until like 10. sooooooo this is pointless. heck, no one will read this.
that's coo tho,
us g-units gots ta stik it tagedda. alright. i guess enough about that. dang, i want a pimpin semi. jk, brb, ttyl bff.
im gonna be a vj! right before my eyes.
*aynz

(im gonna regret everything i said in about.. 5 minutes.)

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