Johanna on purevolume™

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"i fear being like everyone i hate, i fear failure, i fear losing control. i love balancing between chaos and control with everything i do. i always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And i fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society." -marilyn manson

.johanna grace.

make me feel alive.

"if you are free enough, you can afford the luxury of giving yourself over to the moment and staying there..."

there is always a big difference between who you are, who you want to be, and who you can be.

don't confuse me with the girl i was last year.

"through knowledge, liberation; through ignorance, bondage" -samkhya-sutras, III, 22, 23

things don't need to change, i do: "things don't change, we change" -henry david thoreau

i am everything you say i am. i am the scum of the earth. i am a fuck up and i don't care what you think about it. i am not the same as you. i will not be changed and i will not be ignored. don't like it? good. outside your system lies a real rebel.

my opinion about myself is not dependent on your opinion about me.

"man becomes similar to that which he beholds" -plato

i'm incredibly shy, but talk to me and i'll talk to you.

i hate bad grammar and people who can't spell.

i'm very blunt, get over it. be honest with me, that's all i ask.

i'm sarcastic and indecisive.

honestly, i could care less if i'm not up to your expectations, i don't live for you and i don't live by your rules.

i promise, it's not personal.

i have secrets, you won't find me. no matter how clear the glass is, everything looks comfortably distorted.

i'm addicted to stimuli.

i'd rather stay up all night and sleep all day.

i am becoming more and more open-minded. give me a chance and i'll do the same for you.

we need to keep asking questions and, more importantly, finding the answers for ourselves.

lets sit on a back porch somewhere and chase fireflies with our eyes and catch memories upon our minds.

i am a passionate photographer. taking photos and seeing the world from different angles through the lens is an amazing feeling for me.

"if the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite" -william blake

music is my life, just like every other kid. screamo, grindecore, rock, psychedelic, anything non-commercialized with original sound, or with tangible passion and real life attributes.

city kid, in love with scotland.

balance.

religion? "direct mystical experience is always the primary means of religion" my experiences with the world and connections with it are what make up religion for me. freedom of religious thought.

future? biomedical research.

love? single. old fashioned, you gotta make the first move. i want someone who won't care that i'm incapable of sitting still. that i can't reasonably grasp the concept of cleaning without taking it too far. that i refuse to be ladylike all the time. someone who realizes i make mistakes and that i over think everything. i want someone who knows how completely insane i am, and wouldn't want me any other way. Someone who i can spend my who life with... and cherish all my hopes and dreams with, and in our dying days, when the mirror tells us we're getting older... we can hold hands and laugh and cry about the beautiful life we've had... yes, that is the young man i'm going to love one day...

life with meaning.

you make experiences and you are living a life you cannot compare with anything on this planet.

i love living it, but hate the shit that comes with it.

i do, in fact, love my life and the few people in it, but i hate the constant anguish of people who insist on trying to crush all you've ever dreamed of in life.

they call it the american dream for a reason, it only happens in your sleep.

"reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away" -philip k. dick

my life is an adventure, i live it as such always. i can't help it, it's inherent in my quest to always find out what lays behind the veil of my bias, what are the limitations of my heretofore experiences? there are myriads of emotional, spiritual, and philosophical triumphs and tragedies to undergo, all awaiting their part in the symphony of my life.

keep it intense, man, keep the fire alive.