PureVolume

fuck i'm still so lost

alright anyway i'm so fucking lost idk why i'm in love with some stupid girl we haven't even talked since she moved she called once when we fought but everyone said i was dead. thats not the point i don't get anything anymore i don't try in new realationships i dont' even look for a gf anymore idk wtf to do i just hook up and hangout with them like there friends i don't want to date them i dont' want to see them i want them to be her she was fucking perfect i don't know how i messed it all up we had a great thing when we were just friends we hung everyday talked all night were inseperteable till mid summer she moves back i new it was coming thats why we broke up but the feelings never left they still won't i get so fucking angry i break shit i want them gone i tried new gf's but there not her i can't find anything in common i can't hangout with them i can't be around them and be normal my mind races i only want to things that girl i would do anything for and skateboading thats all i care about and i know shes way over me and i'm glad i don't want her to have crazy mood swings or be werid like me i can go from unbelivably happy to misrable and depressed in like 7 seconds once i think of her i keep want to put my arms around those memories and be with her that was our plan she still wants me to do it but i don't think i can anymore shes a crazy fucking lier and i dont' belive anything she says but it doesn't change my mind all i want is her i'll be happy. but i dont' want that anymore i want someone else but i know it won't work i won't try i won't care about them they'll fall for me i'll get tired and bored of them and want them gone!!! it keeps happaning i think i lost the only person i can actually care for way more than a friend. but it happans right i'll find someone new i hope. that i could be around and actually want to be with instead of constantly puting them off not caring just fucking them and moving on trying to find someone i can't anymore i just fucking feel so fucked up i don't want to try at anything just keep looking forward to skating everyday like we used to do and maybe i might see her but shes way different and it' crushes me whatever i just can't care about anyone else like i cared for her i don't know what the fuck to do anymore help advice anything.

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