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JEZRARAE17
Age: 18
Location: does it really matter?
Joined On: Oct 09, 2006
Occupation: Spanky\'s...it\'s a resturant, so try not to think bad!!! hehe
when is it evident that we have reached the bottom? how come pain is the only thing that seems real? I guess pain doesn't hurt, when it's all you've ever felt.
After Effects
feeling alone in an empty room,
i shut my eyes
only to find,
i'm even more empty inside
what i don't understand
is what i had...
i had something amazing and
i lost it, i lost you
now i feel lonely amd forgotten and
as dead as i was
before i met you,
before i loved you
i was sad and departed
from this world
i had nothing to live for,
no one to care for-
but then you looked at me
and you hair fell into place
and i realized-
i didn't have to feel that way,
but i lost it, i lost you
and now i feel ilke i did,
before i loved you
my tourment is that i had it
i had love,
i had you,
and now all i have
is my bleeding heart and
my crying soul
reaching out to try and
stop the heart-ach
i just want you to know
i feel like i did-
before i met you,
but the diffrence is....
I love you
OveRKilL
just when i thought it couldn't get any worse,
it did
i thought i was dead-but now
i'm the living dead.
I'm living a death that doesn't
quite kill me, but
it hurts enough to make me wish
i were actually dead.
i thought i wasn't able
to feel the pain anymore,
like i was numb to it by now,
i thought i was numb to the hurt
you had caused.
i was wrong....
over and over again,
your knife stabs into my back.
Why don't you just leave it there,
you and i both know you'll need it
there again 2 seconds later...
now not only am i sad and hurt, but
i'm tired.
I'm tired of caring and
trying to be a good friend
and in return,
i'm getting stabed in the back
everytime by your knife
i'm bleeding from the wounds
that you caused
and my tears
have blackened from your hate
killer
i wrote a blog called dead along time ago and it was written for my best friend, who i hurt. i felt so bad that i hurt him(my best freiend) and now, i've realized he did the same thing to my only in a dirrerent form. He's killed me. And i guess i'm not mad, i'm just sick of getting beat down by someone who should care. in my blog, dead, i wrote that i can't look at myself the same way, and all i see is a stranger. Funny how karma has a way of comming back to you, only it's always worse. i don't even know him anymore. He's not there for me, and he's not my friend. A friend wouldn't reat a friend the way that he treats me. but the bad thing is, that i just let him. Though he treats me like shit, i just take it. And sometimes what is worse, he just acts like i don't even exist, though i've though that he actually cared....i was just shitting myself. He never cared. All he wanted was a "friend" that he could keep to himself. Everything in my blog, dead, is now reversed. he has treated me like shit and hurt me. I spose i deserve it. I'm not sure how, but people aren't all evil. Are they? in the end of that blog, i wrote,
i swore the last thing i would ever do
was to hurt my friend, and i didn't just hurt him, i tore their heart out and walked all over it
i hurt my best friend and i killed myself.
well, that's exactly what he did to me.
Thanx for that. your a great friend
Why would i do that for you
why....
why do you treat me like this,
why are you so harsh?
your words kill me
as if i'm not dead already....
you've changed and not for the better,
you make me feel horrible about myself...
what the hell have i ever done to you
you were my best friend..
but i don't know you anymore
you eat away at me..
you pick out every bad flaw in me
and hold on to it
you keep it in your mind and never forgive
or forget
you don't care what happens to me
you unload all your anger on me..
as if i'm a fucken garbage can
and i am so damn naive,
that i let this shit happen to me.
i never thought that you would do that to me
i've never fucken done anything to you
and yet you know just how
to beat me down when i need you the most
i forgive you, but i won't forget
i won't forget how you treat me
i just feel horrible that you treat me like this...
and i just sit here and take it.
i never just sit back and let ppl walk
all over me...
but you were my friend,
\\and i let you.
i thought that i could never be mad at you
but you killed me
with your words and actions
but now, i don't know what to think of you
how come i have to be the better person
and just keep my damn mouth shut
how come i would take all your pain away from you
if i could, just so you would be happy.
how come i would do that for you?
why?
.......................do you even deserve it?
JeZra RAe
GOODbYe MY lOvEr
I listened to this song over and over again when i went to NYC. It is how i feel about someone. I want them to know that i love them, but i just can't do this anymore. I'm just confused and this song sums up how i feel. I love you and i always will and we'll see what happens in the future. Thanks for everything.
(listen to this song if you have never heard it before.)
JAMES BLUNT
"Goodbye My Lover"
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Peyton
hey! I think ur aweome blossom!
posted May 18
Broken Soldier
wazzup lng time no c
posted Apr 04
Chauntecleer
Just speaking the truth! :P Hope you\'re having a
great day! My band played a great show last night..
it was a battle of the bands and we won, so it was
sweetness... :]
posted Jan 31
Chauntecleer
You = pretty of course! :]
posted Jan 31
Chauntecleer
prettiness. :]
posted Jan 30
CJ_Conger
hey you. haven\'t talked to you in forever! do you
have facebook? if you do you should look me up. by
the way, nice picture! :D ;)
posted Dec 13
Broken Soldier
i want want you to know that i miss you i miss you so
bad its chourus from a song
posted Oct 25