PureVolume

running on empty.

my mistakes are not left without consequences. 

your greed makes me pay for them every day.

my love is not sustained without criticism.

your cruelty keeps the demons at bay.

my rage is trapped in a bottle

your rage comes from a bottle,

opened for me to see, closed when

the world starts to disagree.

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i can't...

You ask me to stay, so I tolerate another day.

Then you ask me to leave but as I go, you start to plead.

Without me you are a weak little girl, alone in the world.

Yet with me, you are a train wreck, or a postponed rain check.

So here I stand before you, wondering what you want.

Then you plunge the knife into my chest,

But don't worry love, I will come back to haunt.

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Hopelessness dominates the hopeful.

The unwanted visitor comes running back to me, chasing my hope away.

Why do people force this on me?  All I want is to be alone, here in this silent home.

“Come here little girl, I’ll show you a thrill” the smoking love of drugs still shrills.

“I am too good now, for your endless disasters” 

“Well try me once more and those disasters you will head master.”

I turn to the temptation and question once more why…

“Why do you haunt me, and throw lows into my heart?”

“Because that’s life darling. It will rip you apart.”

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:[

my mom is moving out... leaving me alone here

in this hell.  i don't know what to do.  this makes me

hate everyone ten times more.  why do things have to be this

way?  all i ever wanted was someone to love me enough to

stay, but i can't even have that.  no one knows what they are

doing to me, because they don't care to know.  carving negative

words into my skin is the only secret i still keep from them, because

they are the one that causes it.  i just want to get away from this suffocating

place.  then maybe i could be happy for once in my life, but that is just an

illusion. good bye mom, hello to a world of judgement and broken hearts.

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ohmy.

my grandma was making me chicken noodle soup because i've been sick, and i decided i was going to help. as usual i end up spilling it all over the kitchen. and got yelled at.  i had texting for one day this weekend and then my dad cancelled it again? who knows why?... he's stupid... i havent talked to him in months and he still finds ways to ruin my life. i was away all weekend and left my meds. at home, so i've been mid-suicidal. but not too bad.  i saw a dog eat some poop yesterday and threw up. it was horriable. i bought a good luck ring today and broke it within 5 minutes of it's purchase.  oh yeah, and so my mom thinks i raped my boyfriend because she walked in on us making out. how stupid. because of that i'm now grounded... but it was worth it.  I'm hammering her down with my sarcasm. :]

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