- Listener
ITSLEXII
Age: 16
Joined On: Jun 06, 2007
Nothing is ever as clear as the moment you realize we have all screwed up.
Forgive, dont forget.
Learn from your mistakes.
Say you wont regret the past. You will.
Just be proud you had the strength to push through it.
And know that you werent alone in your pain and suffering.
Hi,
Im Lexi.
And Im no better than the rest of you.
I've been doing a lot of growing up recently.
Im learning that you can be happy and enjoy yourself without being ignorant and naive.
Standing up and facing my problems when Im so used to running away is hard.
But I have friends and I have family who are there to cushion my falls,
and Im definatly not the most graceful person in the world,
so they pick me up a lot.
And as long as I have the people who matter most to me backing me up, I can get through anything thrown my way.
vented.
i have no idea why you're weighing so heavyly on my mind, or why it bothers me so much when we don't get to talk.
with just a couple of weeks and some nice phone calls, it really shouldn't be that way.
i'm disappointed.
not in you.
definitely not in you; just the little bit you've done has worked wonders in getting me back on my feet.
it's mainly the situation.
this whole time, i've expected something completely different than the events that've come to pass.
my expectations have never been reached.
come to think of it, when i met you, i expected nothing and those are the times i'd like to return to.
these expectations are weighing me down. by having them, i disappoint myself.
i keep them here because they give me the direction i so desprately need.
something to work towards...or something to fall short of, again.
yet again, i'm not sure where this hightened since of importance came from. i won't die without you.
but i've grown fond of the idea of having you here.
i'm putting myself out there, just to be your friend.
and i'm not getting much feedback.
it's discouraging to say the least.
this is me, warring with myself.
i just want to know what to do.
i won't depend on others anymore, but this is really hard to figure out by myself..
and i mean this with the deepest sincerity,
fuck you.
fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.
i say that not out of anger, but just because i can.
the fact that i'm finally able to not care means i'm free.
all of this on here;
every single key i pressed on purevolume blogs up until this point,
each word of every sentence--
it was effort put towards getting your shit out of my life.
its not that i dont miss you. i actually wish i could say it would be possible for us to hold a simple conversation.
but i'm better off without you.
this is the end,
i'm smiling.
geeze.
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. "
when did the definition of want become so twisted?
as promised.
all day,
i thought long and hard about what to make the list on.
and i changed my mind severeal times.
right up until this moment,
when i decided not to make a list at all.
i like everything about you.
ahah, i'll elaborate later.
if i feel like it.
maybe im not in the mood for writing after all.
pain
its seems like the older we get, the more we have to take on.
more pain.
more hurt in place of hapiness.
im starting to think there is no remedy for our sufferings,
other than time.
then, why do our wounds take so long to heal?
we spend put a lot of effort into trying to get rid of pain these days.
we're looking for a way to avoid the inevitable.
maybe what we dont realize,
is that we need pain.
what if God has a purpose for all our heartache?
i believe he does.
Ryan
Wow, you\'ve been busy with the 130 fav artists! and
well, I just feel unaccomplished to be honest... I
haven\'t read a single book on my honar\'s english
list... heh, lol.
posted Aug 03
b_ferreal
i missed you. i missed you. i missed youuu. oh so very
much. but, i get to spend the next two days with you.
=] i\'m excited. i like my best friend
posted Jul 15
Ryan
Uhh, yea. I\'ve had a purevolume forever. I just
don\'t sign on it much. so, yea way??
posted Jul 10
b_ferreal
I was looking through our all old pictures. We have
about a million. We\'ve changed so much over just one
year. Just a year ago things were so different.But one
thing hasn\'t changed. You\'re still, and always will
be my best friend. You have been since 5th grade. I
wish we had pictures to see how much we\'ve changed
since then. Hahaha. I was a funny looking kid. ilymbf.
posted Jul 01