Murder! Murder! Such an injustice.
Posted July 5, 2007
So, quite frankly I haven't written any blogs in a while. Maybe it's because I'm pretending to be preoccupied with things, or maybe it's because I haven't had the get-go. Whatever the reason, I'm writing now.
It's completely pathetic how dependent on other people I am.
I can barely even function on my own.
Whenever my mom always leaves the house, she always calls to me from her stance in the front door frame and says,
'remember, breathe. inhale, exhale. inhale, exhale. and if you're going to shoot your heroin, do it in the bathroom, and DON'T share your needles.'
and I always tell her,
'okay mom' and smile like her over-used jokes are still funny.
She does it because she knows I'd just sit on my ass like a couch potato and forget I was supposed to do anything at all. I constantly need to be reminded, just so the ideas and thoughts stay fresh in my mind.
Sometimes she jokes with me about being autistic, and how I just tend to shut the world out.
Why? Because I myself am my comfort zone, and why venture out of somewhere you feel safe?
Maybe I'm afraid someone will do me wrong, of maybe I'm just waiting for someone to hit play, so I can get on with my life.
Without certain people around, I'm pretty much bipolar.
One minute, I'm as happy and hyper as can be, then the next, I'm sitting on the floor in my room, shaking and crying my eyes out.
And it's usually over nothing.
Nothing at all.
I don't know.
If there's one thing I could change about myself, it'd be my dependency on others just to get through my day.
