- Listener
SYDNEY BETCH.
My name is Sydney.
I am just me.
I wonder what I'll make of myself.
I hear the sounds of the big city call to me.
I see the world with bright, open eyes.
I want to be something great.
I am just me.
I pretend my past is something I cherish.
I believe there is no such thing as destiny.
I touch the pages of books.
I feel the same things you feel.
I worry I won't be someone my parents can be proud of.
I cry behind closed doors, you'll never see me without a smile on my face.
I am just me.
I understand life isnt always fair.
I say imagination makes the world turn.
I dream of monsters and zombies who sing to me.
I am just me.
My msn is pirates.arr.cool@hotmail.com
the most important thing in my life
Want to talk to me?
Then don't type like you're stupid.
it jus shws u gt no edumacaton
Imagination is just a myth.
Life is something you're supposed to draw out for yourself. A map of different paths and treasure chests you found along the way. Destiny; I believe there is no such thing. Your life is what you make of it. It's not planned out for you.
There will always be a select few who try to draw that map for you. They'll steal the pen from your hand to make such rude marks on the paper. The only way you can ever get it back, is if you take it back into your own hands, draw your own map, and prove to everyone; you don't need extra hands.
'Jesus' is just another word for 'me.'
Believe in him, you're only believing in yourself.
He's something we made up, so that when we feel useless and we have no more faith in ourselves, we still have something that gives us hope.
I am one who believes there is no such thing as God. We ourselves are God. We are those who make miracles, who shape and mold the world, who create beautiful children and bright futures. I believe people who worship God, are praying to their inner strength, so that they can get through another day.
Many say I'm crazy, quite a few call me insane. They say my morals are wrong, and I'm going to Hell, but somehow, I believe not even the darkest soul would send me to hell for what I believe in. Religion to me is just a pasttime, something people take up as their hobby.
I hope that cleared things up for people on what I believe. Yeah, I don't really believe, but that doesn't make me any less of a person.
Murder! Murder! Such an injustice.
So, quite frankly I haven't written any blogs in a while. Maybe it's because I'm pretending to be preoccupied with things, or maybe it's because I haven't had the get-go. Whatever the reason, I'm writing now.
It's completely pathetic how dependent on other people I am.
I can barely even function on my own.
Whenever my mom always leaves the house, she always calls to me from her stance in the front door frame and says,
'remember, breathe. inhale, exhale. inhale, exhale. and if you're going to shoot your heroin, do it in the bathroom, and DON'T share your needles.'
and I always tell her,
'okay mom' and smile like her over-used jokes are still funny.
She does it because she knows I'd just sit on my ass like a couch potato and forget I was supposed to do anything at all. I constantly need to be reminded, just so the ideas and thoughts stay fresh in my mind.
Sometimes she jokes with me about being autistic, and how I just tend to shut the world out.
Why? Because I myself am my comfort zone, and why venture out of somewhere you feel safe?
Maybe I'm afraid someone will do me wrong, of maybe I'm just waiting for someone to hit play, so I can get on with my life.
Without certain people around, I'm pretty much bipolar.
One minute, I'm as happy and hyper as can be, then the next, I'm sitting on the floor in my room, shaking and crying my eyes out.
And it's usually over nothing.
Nothing at all.
I don't know.
If there's one thing I could change about myself, it'd be my dependency on others just to get through my day.
Uhm, yeah. :]
Well, I'm on purevolume pretty regularily, so I figured, hey, let's get an account.
Stupid, right?
I know.
I'm a complete walking contradiction.
My future is completely oblivious to me.
I've got not the faintest picture painted by my imagination or hopes.
And I feel slightly stupid for that. That I'm not even able to guess.
Because usually people have SOME idea, maybe just a clue.
But not me.
Not even a guess.
Which makes me feel a bit...retarded, if you will.
I guess I am.
There's a lot of evidence I might be retarded or insane, but I don't really talk about it or else I'd be put in a rubber room.
I'm a danger to myself and those around me.
It's probably best no one knows.
I'd be under lock and key.
The stupidity of some people dumbfounds me.
I never knew people could be so arrogant or absent-minded, never even taking concern for the people around them.
Especially when they don't realize they're driving you mad.
The lack of intelligence in today's society projects a dumb future for the world.
I'm beginning to believe we're slipping back down the evolution scale.
We began with little, maybe no intelligence. Then slowly evolved and became more advanced, developing new technologies that affected our civilizations and way of life. Now that we have pretty much developed all the technology needed for our way of life, all that's left to do is improve the inventions. Not create something original.
So I believe we are slowly losing intelligence due to lack of things and information yet to be discovered.
So we'll continue slowly back down the evolution scale until we're caveman again.
Hence,
history repeats itself.
Wacky theory, I know.
But I'm going to laugh when it begins to happen,
I'm suprised I'm the only one to predict it.
Winter annoys me.
The sudden cold fronts, freezing rain, short days and long nights.
I don't like it,
though I favor it ovre summer.
Summer is horribly worse.
But winter.
Winter is just too cold for me. I'm not made for weather like this.
How can people not believe in luck, but believe it's a higher power controlling everything in the universe?
It's a bit ridiculous to me.
Putting all your faith into someone no one this century has seen, yet, they're alive.
Believing your life is controlled by them.
Living everyday of your life for someone you THINK exists.
And I'm considered insane.
Hah.
I laugh at that statement.
Hah.
I merely find it pointless to worship anything.
Tasha_Terror
red? haha. that's rankk! I'm trying to figure out what
to do what my hair. I want to dye my bangs into coon
stripes but I'm not exactly sure what color. I've been
doing other people's hair all damn week and haven't had
time for myself! =]
posted 5 days ago
Tasha_Terror
you're very welcome. =] how are you?
posted 6 days ago
fresh. to. deathhh.
yuppp
posted 1 week ago
STELLARsasha;;
cute nameee .
i am from florida . and yourself sweets ?
posted 3 week ago
STELLARsasha;;
OOPS .
sydney i meant . /:
posted 3 week ago
STELLARsasha;;
nothing much really .
im sasha . and you are syndey im presuming ?
posted 3 week ago
Fagtron69
And it just comes out of nowhere! DAMN BLADDER! >=o
posted 3 week ago
Fagtron69
Hmm... i would have to say anxious cause i have to pee,
haha. just waiting for the bell to ring.
posted 3 week ago