IHAVACRET

 

Age:  16

Location:  fob central, NJ

Joined On:  May 23, 2007

Occupation:  skittles taste tester.

 
 

Evanmusicrocks

Wichita, Kansas

sinspawn-ammes

in my grave

ihaertbeam

i dunno;; i\'m lost

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Taking Back Sunday Taking Back Sunday

Rock / Rock / Rock

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Punk / Pop Punk / Rock

Gorillaz Gorillaz

Pop / Club

Avenged Sevenfold (CA) Avenged Sevenfold (CA)

Rock / Metal

AFI AFI

Rock

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ello ello buenvenidos a amanda's profile thing. hola me llamo amanda. i like to sing, dance in the rain to a song that can only be heard in my head, eat tons and tons of skittles, have fun, and be mellow... i love to hang out with my friends who are so abnormal its normal for us to get hit by parked cars. Brit, Bre, Erin, Aly, and Ximena are some of my best friends in the world so dont mess with them or i'll beat the crap outta you like i did to gustavo. I'm a really nice person so add me! All of my pictures were taken recently so they may not be that good. and even if i may look emo in pictures i'm really not. i think emo boys are cute. i look retarded when i smile so photos of me smiling are a rarity. I loved Nsync and Spicegirls in the 90s, but not gaystreet boys or britney spears *cough* white trash *cough* I hate red and Mottz. Sissy, Brit, and I are some of the slowest people alive. i'm a total retard with organization even though i go OCD sometimes. I cant keep a folder without doodling, or destroying it. I like to write poems occassionally. I love reading. I'm into anything fun (eww that sounds wrong now) i went to bamboozle and almost passed out due to heat exhaustion. I have an unhealthy obsession with Skittles. I destroy class projects. I'm under five feet. I would give one of my fingers to see all of the real Beatles live. I rarely ever go to the mall. I need a hair cut desperately. I am in love with the Museum of Natural History. I learned how to spell Pteradactyl at the age of 6. I'm in love with indie and classic music. tell me you're a beatles/who/clash/bruce springsteen/bob dylan fan i'm garaunteed to love you. and i wish i was born in 1948!!

 
 
April 27

something i wrote after being told i was repulsive

A Note for my Sister, Father, and Mother This is my own requiem, one that shall proclaim my existance as a failure Emerging from the womb I was a failure, a creature of feeble size and inferior capacity As the years passed the impression of me never improved and repulsion embraced my presence i found myself to be a mere burden and knew what must be done Outside of my own mind I sympathized with you, never myself and considered what it must feel like {to share blood with a failure} a fact that hangs over you and never goes away So weep not because I am gone or because The Gates are locked shut and definitely not because I took a life with my own hand but weep for the success I could never be Alas, Peace be with you ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ok so i don't like self pity or being emotional, but i just had to write this. don't think different of me.

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April 27

a poem i'm working on entitled 'flight'

Flight For a brief moment I flew Far beyond the heavens Toward the great unknown Exhilaration, anticipation builds Going so fast I stop to look back Viewing all that was my life The blue house with the broken door The old rusted gate I wave; a gesture of acknowledgement and move on Focusing on my mission; flight How glorious it is! To be weightless; invincible Away from all harm The higher I go the farther the memories become They fade and my memory resets itself Flying gave me a new life; a second chance But suddenly I fall Taking back my memories All I had been counting on demolished in an instant I now remember the times on the swings When I reached the top and flew The goal of immortality reached However my memory abruptly takes me to another time When the moment of flight ended How harsh gravity was on my small feet; the consequences of invincibility I'm still working on the ending. suggestions are welcome as well as criticism whether constructive or otherwise.

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July 20

3 other poems

i tried to write two poems for an english assignment minths ago and i ended up writing 4 tittled the same "in an alternate reality so yea....thought i'd post them to conquer my boredom.

#1
In reality I'm not that perfect girl I strive to be
I'm a klutz
Nerd
Rebellious and sometimes unhappy

I try to put a smile on my face day after day
But some days I'm overwhelmed

How do I deal with it?
I take relief in knowing I'm not the only one

There are others
I know
I observe people

I watch how different people react in certain situations
See how they deal with stress
Drama
Violence

Especially violence

Even if its not physical
It still hurts

Insults are hurled at me, family, friends
On a daily basis

Sometimes I try to ignore the pain that comes with each blow
But I always know Ill feel it later

Sometimes the wounds heal
But other times the damage is permanent
And although it may become less visible
It will always stay there
Scarred into my skin

As a reminder of the imperfections
I carry around with me each day

#2

In reality
I bear neither a halo
Nor a sinister tale

In reality
I see the glass as neither half-empty
Or half-full

In reality
I dont belong

In reality
I am an outcast
And outsider

In reality
Acceptance is hard to come by
And rejection effortless

So, if in reality
I am not on either side
Where does that leave me?

Am I in limbo?
Or am I numb?

Im aware of my surroundings
But do I act on them?
Do I care?

Sometimes I feel as if
Were meant to be divided
Among ranks
Groups
Cliques

So if in reality
I dont fit anywhere
Am I nobody?

But then how can I not be somebody?
I am somebody just for posing this question

I am neither perfect
Nor the scum of the earth

I make mistakes
But I also perform good deeds

So what I submit to you is:
Am I an outcast?
or am I human?

#3

In reality I may seem confident
But I'm really an emotional mess

Day by day I wait
Anticipating another attack

That has not yet arrived
So I continue to wait

Paranoia has become a common feeling
And is no longer a foe

I welcome it with open arms
For then I am always alert

Why am I paranoid?
You may ask

Its because I have been hurt in the past
Hurt, to such an extent that recovery in nothing short of a miracle

And although I have somewhat recuperated
The wounds still seem raw

And the memories fresh
Along with the emotions that came with it

Some have come and gone
But others decided to stay making good use of their newfound home

The feelings of misery, pain, mistrust
Are now familiar faces

But each day they blend into the crowd little by little
As the wounds begin to heal

And the experience becomes more of a dream
And less of reality

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....so bored.

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July 20

poem that was in spill

In an alternate reality Im not me
I'm the girl I always strive to be
Perfect
Obedient
Happy

I'm always smiling
Always acting polite
Never talking back
And never giving up

Every word that flows from my mouth is rhythmic
Musical
Lyrical

My voice is a melody in its own
That caresses all within earshot
Its a voice that melts anyones heart
And brings all to obedience
Even lulls some to a peaceful slumber

I can imagine the sound
Hear the voice
Speaking unidentifiable words
But it doesnt matter what the words are
I can hear the sweet sounds
And feel the need to meticulously listen to every syllable

As my imagination continues to roar to life
I continue to see a body performing all of the actions of a good girl
And hear the soothing voice
But I cant picture my face

The harder I try to picture my face
The more distant the voice becomes
Until its a whisper

Then when the voice is barely audible
The words become clear
And the voice whispers
this isnt you

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July 3

finally

omg i FINALLY got a haircur which was desperately needed and i also got my internet back after hmm...maybe 6ish weeks of going without it. it didnt bother me much except that i couldnt post pictures that i tok thats all though. and another thing (this goes out to sissy) when i was looking for rubber cement in my dad's basement i uh found some clear gloss. so sissy the whole remaking the board thing coulve never happened if i had found that gloss sooner. but whatever i'm not gonna spend my time thinking what if lol ms. fordice ok i'm gonna stop now

-amanda

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Alycia Megan

i still use it sorta sometimes. lol i'll answer when i
get comments. but i don't stalk people like i used
to. any of my friends from here i added on
facebook/myspace

xXsunsets&carcrashesXx

ok yea edward was a disappointment. but the rest of the
cast isnt too bad. they have this whole thing on
mtv.com called "Meet the cast of Twilight". You should
check it out, you meet pretty much everyone in it. &&
as for harry potter....i got half way through the 4th,
read the 5th, skipped to the 7th and only got half way
through it. It just got boring to me. :P

xXsunsets&carcrashesXx

the GSA skit is based off of the one-act play Andre's
Mother by Terrence McNally. You should look it up. Its
an awesome play, but kind of hard to describe without
giving away the script :P i might go to the world
culture festival im not sure yet. it depends if im
going to the bamboozle thing that night. if i dont go
then i'm going to the thing at school. [[ && yea i
kinda figured that part out :P ]]

Alycia Megan

hahahahah thanks. lol. locker warrrrsssss

Alycia Megan

raaaaaawr im gunna bother u on this cause i hate
myspace =]

!xx Raul xx!

LOL ok well i used to almost have hair like sean white
it used to be sooo long but not like his almost though
and ive been called ron more then once lol, i dont care
what u call me w/evs. \"i have an unhealthy obsession
wiht skittles\" LOL. and to fix the pics u go to
mytheme.com and resize them i think u could figure it
out if not tell me but myspace works too iguess

!xx Raul xx!

LOL yeah i guess so well ur really cute :) haha thanks
again yeah i dont wanna get old luckily i have a good
amount of time until then lol...u seem really cool and
crazy lol-yeah i gotta go fucking write an essay byee
amanda

 
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