PureVolume

Relationships.

Am I the only one that notices that relationships these days are going horribly wrong? Is it due to the fact that we never had a proper model of what a real relationship looks like. Its a statistic that more than half of marriages end in divorce these days and seems to steadily rising. So what can we do to change this fact, I think the best possible way to even make a dent in this to make it change is seeing what people probably realize but do nothing about. I’m going to point out some of the things that I see wrong with the way relationships are going, you may not agree but maybe your just naïve and want to remain ignorant, ignorance is bliss after all. Let me just start with the ladies, ladies you need to realize that it is a psychological fact that the kind of guy you like is reflective of your father. I’ll break this down for you your going to go after guys that remind you of your dad. You may not realize it because it is subconscious, but its true. So if your dad was a jerk your going to be going after a jerk or if your dad was a good guy you’ll be looking for that kind of guy. This isn’t always the case but in most cases it is, it’s hard to change this if you don’t even know its happening. The same can go with guys your mother can effect the kind of woman you go after. It may also depend on the relationship you had with your mom/dad because this could make you go after the opposite of them which in most cases isn’t bad. To stay along those lines your parents relationship is also going to affect the way you are with the person your with. We are a product of our environment. So it will shape you from how your parents acted toward each other. Or hopefully you were lucky enough to have an outside influence that had a good relationship that you could benefit from. So its likely that people come from broken homes just because that is you don’t have to end up like that. Do not tell yourself that your bent for the same fate as your parents. This isn’t true you have the authority in your own life to change for the better. So people learn from your parents mistakes, and take pieces of the good relationships you’ve seen to make yours great. The next thing I think I need to talk about is girls who think they can change a guy. Every time I hear a girl talk about trying to do this I can’t help but chuckle. Ladies it’s not going to happen, well unless he is willing to change himself. Let me say this is extremely rare, most guys are set in their ways. Only changing after something dramatic happens to them that makes them realize that it’s time to change. So for girls who are bent on finding a bad boy and transforming him into their prince charming your better off looking for someone who treats you right. Often that guy is the one that you call to talk about the bad boy, that guy could be your knight in shining armor if you give him a chance. Every girl wants to find that guy that makes them feel like a princess because they were daddy’s princess. Ladies remember what I said about being attracted to guys like your father, lets just say if your mom couldn’t change him your not going to be able to change a bad boy to your prince. So break the cycle and look for someone that is going to be that prince without you having to force him to be. Okay guys your turn what is up with the way guys treat girls these days, can I remind you that they are not objects to be thrown around like they are nothing. I know that you think that treating girls like nothing makes you feel better about yourself but all it really makes you is a jerk. In the long run all its going to do is get you into trouble and no one is going to want to be with someone that is like that. Its time to bring back the gentlemen its a dying breed I know but look at it this way most grandparents I know are still together which I’m not surprised because back then they actually knew what it meant to court someone. So guys I implore you to strive to open a door or two for a girl, give her your jacket, and pay for things once in a while. Seriously guys do you think breaking a girls heart is fun? I’ve had endless encounters of guys leaving girls for someone else at a moments notice. Are you that insecure that you think that if more than one girl is interested in you it makes you hot stuff? Stop and think for a second about someone other than yourself, and think about what your doing to the girl and her feelings. So all I’m saying is the bad boy routine is getting old and I’m pretty sure your the reason the divorce rate is going up in the first place. Once guys can learn how to treat a girl I think things will start to get better. Here some stuff that has more along the lines to what to do and what not to do in a relationship. First some things to do; first and foremost you need to talk to your other half. This will greatly help your relationship talk about things rather than hold them in. This may cause minor fights but in the long run it will keep someone from blowing up and it all coming out at once. Talk about the small stuff to because it will add up so this is to the guys pay attention to her when she talks it may not always seem important but it maybe to her so therefor it is important. Another thing that needs to be done is have separate lives do not do everything together. You need to realize that its good to spend time with friends outside of each other. So set up times where both go hang out with friends, this is also important your allowed to have friends of the opposite sex without your partner having to get upset just talk it out and it should be okay. Another thing you need to do is be cool with the family so guys its time to meet the parents its always good to impress the dad, same goes for you ladies you have to impress the mom. Family is important so try to be involved with one another’s family, this doesn’t have to be done right away but once things start to get serious that’s normally a cue to meet the folks. Also you need to remember the important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. Talk about it to see how important the anniversary is because not taking it serious enough could get you in trouble. Also guys going back to being a gentlemen its time to doing some spontaneous things for your girl. Send her flowers, bring her lunch, leave her little notes, and just little surprises like that every now and then. Okay things not to do; let jealousy get the best of you, lie, and cheat are the big ones I’ll focus on. It seems like people have all kinds of self esteem issues these days which given to the times is understandable. The thing is the jealousy bug needs to die, so here is what needs to be done build some trust with your partner this is extremely important. Trust the person I know these days guys cant hang out with any girls outside of his girlfriend or girls hanging out with some guys without her boyfriend freaking out. So honestly people we need to stop freaking out and let the people live their lives cause limiting them to just you is going to be a problem. Even worse is lying to your partner this is just overall stupid and in the end you will be caught so do yourself a favor and tell the truth. You maybe forgiven for whatever you did, you may not but its important to tell the truth. Lying is repulsive anyways and I don’t see why you’d do it. Even little lies add up so say honest with one another it will make things a lot easier. Given there are times that lying is needed this is only the case when it may keep someone from being hurt. Don’t use that as an excuse though sometimes you need the person to decide whether they need to be sheltered. The worst of all is cheating. Can I just say this is RETARDED, DO NOT DO IT! Seriously what is up with people today is one person not enough? If your the type where you cant stay true to a person don’t make it a relationship because all your going to do is hurt someone. I’m not going to aim this at just the guys either because the sad thing is now a days even girls cheat though they are sneakier about it. Though guys let me just say this let me give you some insight girls talk to each other they have a crazy social network where all girls know each other. So they will find out. You will be branded as a cheater and as the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater. So do yourself a favor people DO NOT CHEAT! Okay next subject I think I need to touch up on is the way everything is sexual these days, seriously does everything have to be porno status? I think as we have advances in electronics so does the insanity of all things sexual. We have all these things like Mypsace, and Facebook where people are pretty much selling themselves due to half naked pictures. The pictures stimulate the males and make girls feel sexy which again people deal with your insecurities in another way. I know in our society sex sells but it also causes babies and std’s. Its a statistic that 1 and 4 girls in the USA have a STD. So people we need to calm down on all this sex stuff seriously. Sex is to be between husband and wife. We have killed that idea, with the booty call and all the ways sex rules our lives. So people unless you want to end up with a baby or a burning sensation when you pee chill out and keep your clothes on.

11 Comments