- Listener
IANGUE
Age: 21
Location: Whiterocks, UT
Joined On: May 14, 2006
The unspoken words of the heart...
When will I stop this nonsense?
When can I finally smile without pain?
When can I feel the happiness that waits for me?
In a second? a minute? an hour? a day? a month? a year?
Perhaps...... a lifetime..
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I usually get emotional about small things and wrong things.
I think it's a trait that I, regretably, have.
I hate it when I'm feeling the wrong thing..
I know that it's not right, but it's normal..
I hate it when I can't say anything..
I hate it when I intend to halt conversations..
I hate everything about me..... about the emotional me....
I'm not emo or anything..
I'm just a face in the crowd finding myself..
I guess I'm just lost at the moment..
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"I can put all back the pieces but it won't fit the same.."
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I never complain, nor give out negative feedbacks to the pain I feel..
Sometimes, I know that it's absolutely wrong and totally irrational..
Is this the price I pay for being a lunatic for ubsurd feelings?
DAMN the humility and provocacy of one's mind!
I relinquish the times of sadness but in partial time, I stay mute...
MUTE to all who oppose and forsake my interdependent statue of histocracy..
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Sometimes, I wish I was a computer...
HIT the POWER button and I'd go off..
Place me at the side, or in the closet, away from everything..
When the time comes that you remember me,
Turn me ON and I'll ask you.. "What happened?"
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I wish I never knew you, so I'd find the rest of my life FINDING YOU...
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I dream of me in a head-on accident...
As my partially dead carcus lays in the bloody robes of savages, trying to restore the partially dead, I slowly drift into silence with flashbacks of the past.. seeing your face for the last time..
wishful thinking that I'd get to tell you... for the last time... that I loved you till the very last breathe of air in my lungs..
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And as the story goes, ending with a "Happily ever after.."
I wish mine was opposite, to the last gut-driven infinity of oblivious jousts..
In such words, I wish my story would end with.. "Lived Life to the fullest.."
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JEALOUSY is in my heart now!
Alas.. Fuck thee people who think I'm a crazed-lunatic!
FUCK YEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I BLEW IT AGAIN..
It was in the afternoon of this day, August 9th 2007, after watching a movie, I went to a corner of the mall. I sat on the side walk glazing at the sky, and thinking of what happened to me.
Then she SMS Messaged me. Well it was a Send-to-many SMS Message. So I was still counted.
I replied.
Moments later, she was asking where I was, who was with me, and she was telling me to go home already.
Well, I was still hyped up! So I decided to walk to a high school just few blocks away from where I sat.
While walking, we exchanged conversations through the Mobile service. I was like so happy. I mean, as KoRny as it may sound, yeah! HELL YEAH! I WAS F'n happy! Because it's not always she gets to SMS message me. And for me, it was hard to SMS message her. Because I think that I would just be disturbing her or ruining the rest of her day. I hesitate to SMS message her, because I don't want her to think that I'm trying to... you know.. I'm lost for words. *shrugs shoulders*
So! Shall I continue...
After walking, I decided to take ride a Jeepney going down to the city proper. So as I arrived, I was still full of hype, so I continued to walk around the Divisoria area, killing time, WHILE having a mobile conversation with her.
As I got home, we were still having this conversation.
And it came to a point where I told her that I thought she had too many people texting her.
To cut the story short, I BLEW IT! Know why?
Because I got F'n "JEALOUS" again, I totally F'D up a good chance... So I never got the chance to say goodnight.. Right now, i feel like an ASS.
I guess next time, I'd stop pretending and tell her straight.. instead of just fooling around trying to catch her attention and F*CK up things!
GOD! I'm so careless.. DAMMIT!
Well that's what my day was like.. Rate myself ? -10/10
F'n LOOSER!
hardchick
hi... please try to listen southrace a band from cdo
hope you like it... please help support local scene...
thanx!! www.purevolume.com/southrace
posted Jul 18