to: you. subject: i'm sorry
Posted April 21, 2008
well, it's been almost a year since last post. it feels like at least three life times. i never thought i'd be where i am now, who i am now. let's be honest, folks, looks like i really fucked it up this time. i don't even know what's going on anymore. i don't know what i think and i can't tell what i'm feeling. i've got so many other people's opinions in my head that i can't tell which is mine anymore. i swear before God almighty that i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought it was my only choice. so many people have told me what a horrible person i am, maybe it's true... can they all be wrong? i would be willing to fight them if i [i]knew[/i] that i was right, but i honestly don't know anymore. i wish i could fix things. i've wished on every star, on every penny,every night at 11:11. and nothing's worked. i don't think i can fix things. i don't know if it's possible. but i've tried. if i could only tell you that i'm sorry. that's all i really can say. on the off chance that you may be reading this, I AM SORRY. i don't expect forgiveness. but i need you to know that i am so full of regret that i can't sleep at night. and i just hope you're ok. i'm sorry.
